No, things wont get better -I've been thinking that for nigh on 20yrs, and no matter how hard I try, I fail.

Sure, there are brief spells, but there's always something that comes along and slaps everything back into reality.
No matter how much hope I had, it is all gone. As with everything else.
There is no hope for someone like me. I am cursed with a mind that thinks outside of the box, and as such am tormented by my beliefs and ideals.
I am destined to live a life that is filled with sharp reminders that I am but one small insignificant person, who has some strange ideas about how people should act and behave - and there's nothing that I can do to change it.

I doesn't matter what I believe - I wont forsake them, but I can't implement them. Even if I try to implement them in my own little circle of life, it dpoesn';t conform to the protocol, and therefore is seen as a rebellious activity and is met with resistance.