I remember when I was were you were. I found a perfect solution. Go get a 3 inch pipe (a little longer and a little wider than your middle finger) and then a 3 way elbow that matches the pipe. Then you screw the pipe into the elbow joint. just buy a metal faucet screen from home depot, lows, or any other hardware store. Then force the screen into the the way elbow (the one thats facing up) and then you have a pipe with a bowl, a carb, and a chamber. You can unscrew it to clean it and make it look inconspicuous. MAKE SURE YOU BURN ALL THE METAL FOR AT LEAST A MINOUTE. Theres alot shit on the metal that will make you sick if you inhale it, make sure you burn and wash all the grease and shit off before you use your new pipe.

you can also use the gatorade bottle. Take a gatorade bottle, unscrew the cap. Burn (with a lighter, BE CARFULL) a finger tip sized hole at the very bottom rim (for a carb), and then another bigger one 3/4s of the way up for your mouth. Then take aluminum foil and use it to make a bowl at the top (poke a bunch of small holes in the bottom of the foil bowl of course so the smoke pulls through). Then seal the foil around the top with a rubber band. walla! practice this a few times. Then just suck a ton of smoke into the bottle, realease you finger that is on the carb and now you have a lungfull.
(ALUMINUM FOIL is BAD for you, so use it as little as you have to, or at least light it only long enough to get your bud cherrying)

This shit is so cheap you shouldnt have to steal it, its not worth it to steal. Just collect pop cans and get the ten cent deposits

FYI it is my understanding that you are indeed 35 years old and was only joking about being underage :rasta: