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10-05-2006, 05:59 AM #27
OPSenior Member
A revolutionary.
Even if the thoughts be those of doubt and uncertainty--you insist on writing them down? Even of those thoughts take you away from the sensation of enlightenment? I can't describe the feeling I had just experienced. It was comfort, yet slightly obscured. Like breaking through a threshold. And yet, I couldn't feel completed. A void still lay dormant in my mind and in my essence. Either I couldn't accept that perhaps another hasn't reached a stage of enlightenment and I have or vice versa? You're certainly helping me to understand all of this better, but I feel I need more. And maybe it's the sub-conscious void rather than just a lack of information? I suppose I'm looking for affirmation in myself through you. I'm hoping that you can tell me I've been enlightened and have it done with, while deep down I know that can't be true. I have no faith in myself. I'm too dependent on others to guide me through, because my mind leads me right where I began my journey:Suspicion. Anger. Deceit.
And what to make of this urge I explain to you? It is just that. An empty love. Is it empty because the two souls are not connected? Or can one soul be connected and the other be oblivious to the feeling?
Forgive my inquisitions. This holds a great deal of importance to me. And I thank you for your guidance.
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