Pride does seem to be blocking your path now doesn't it? Maybe pride was the wrong word to use when it comes to affecting others and their journeys, but perhaps a word more like "satisfaction" would suffice?

As cliché as it sounds, you and those that you wish to reconnect with really should all experience a *trip* together (hopefully you understand its meaning here, as I don't want this thread closed for saying the wrong thing). What's wonderful about tripping is that you experience loss of ego--of this pride that haunts your mind. It lets you simply be; to live with one another without all of the worldly distractions that might be a contributing factor to your sense of pride. And the overwhelming feeling of love is sure to follow. It will come because now your pride will seem SO very insignificant to you at the time, and hopefully from then on, and allow you to reconnect with those that love you. Let love be the path that guides you, as they say. I only suggest that you experience a trip because the pain you suffer from sounds a little too overwhelming to just try and put aside. It needs to be stripped away, and the right trip will do this for you.

I also understand about your yearning for reconnection of past friends and perhaps soulmates that have just gone their own seperate way. I'm still dealing with that to some degree, but I guess a small sense of hope lies within, pushing me to never let go. To let go is to loose sight of those that love you, as you mentioned. Perhaps you haven't seen these friends in quite some time? This could also lead to a false-sense of a disintegrating love. It could even be that as soon as you see this person after a long absense, the feeling will come rushing back. I know I have friends like that, whom I dearly look forward to seeing soon. All we have to do is look at each other, square in the eye, and it's like we were never apart--a love never lost. I also might suggest that your deep desire to experience this feeling might be hindering the opportunity for it to actually consume you. Forcing something like this surely cannot be good for the soul, but rather destructive from the symptoms you describe.

Do not fret, my wandering spiritual warrior. This is why they call it a journey; a quest. If you didn't learn anything from this, there would be no point in experiencing it. Learn well from this, and you will come out all the wiser, ready to love and be loved. Don't worry, either, because you are loved. ~