I suppose what I'm most interested is my affect on other people who feel they've reached this enlightenment. It's as if I'm being used almost. Friends or those I used to call that have now taken me in as a tool for their own desire of enlightenment and yet they think that I stand idly by with no clue whatsoever. I must say that I probably wouldn't have reached this knowledge without help, of course. Eventually the sensations I experienced with these people in particular would prosper from imaginary to reality. And I may or may not have grasped the concept, alas I must not dwell on the help I've received and not let pride have it's best of me. I've discovered for myself. And yet, it still the question still remains: why?

Why let me stand by with no information? No guidance. While surely they've had guidance from another and the perpetual cycle continues, so on and so forth. As I would insist on sharing with another who's reached near enlightenment, yet the refused. And even in times of need they've misdirected me. A tool for their own selfish desires. I was nothing but a test of their limits for them.