I'm going to be 18 in a couple of months and I am scrambling to find a reason to go to college. I have a passion for music but since nearly all avenues of a music-related career are hard to come by and usually low paying, I am now on to yet another career idea that at the moment sounds like a good idea but in the back of my head I have a feeling I'll just decide against it a couple weeks from now like I have some of the others. I have no car, never had a job, never had a girlfriend, and I'm only recently starting to overcome what I'd call a confusing state of depression. Though the depression is gone now, I've also had a lot of weed lately and have been able to smoke a few bowls a day. Usually when I'm without weed and know what I have to do to move forward and try to do it, but I am in a depressed anti-social state. When I have a lot of weed I am a lazy bastard and though being high gives me a different perspective on my problems, I never follow through with the solutions until I've been sober a while. I find I'm only comfortable in social situations when I am high or I was recently high, and I know my natural instincts make me have a completely distorted view on how to live happily with people

But I'm getting better...?