See! I been sayin it fer years! If we were ta get into a fight with dem bastards, we'd lose in a month! TOPS!

Bastards'll fight pandas! PANDAS!! And most of OUR men have a fear of spiders!

In all seriousness, that was quite funny. I'm the kind of guy that when I'm beer drunk, I get the same way. If I were to see a panda, I'm pretty sure I'd want to pet it too haha