Closest call with the law?

[afghooey]

What's the closest you've come to being busted (if you haven't ever been busted)?

My closest brush with the law was a few years ago. Me and two friends of mine had just got hooked up, and since I was still living with my rents at this time, we were trying to think of somewhere safe that we could go and smoke in peace without any trouble. Well, I don't remember who brought it up but one of us suggested we go sit in the church parking lot. It was evening, not late at night or anything, so we figured it wouldn't be that suspicious to just be chilling in a church parking lot. So off we go.

Well, everything's going cool, we blaze a bowl and then we all light up cigarettes and are just chilling and talking for a while. Then I noticed that there's a cop car over at one end of the parking lot, just sitting there. So I'm like... "Ummm, guys." And I pointed him out. We were about to up and get the hell out of there when we noticed another cop car at the other exit of the parking lot... and another squad car parallel to us... and ANOTHER one just behind us. We were completely fucking surrounded by four squads.

Just about the time that we notice this, the squad behind us shines a spotlight on the car. Naturally, we're all shitting a brick at this point. I had a quarter ounce in my pocket, and both of my friends had an eighth each. Well, this cop comes strolling up the the car. My friend rolls down her window and starts talking to him. We're all red-eyed as fuck and stoned out of our minds, and I don't know about you guys but when I get into a situation when I don't want to be high I feel about 10 times higher.

Anyway, the cop says he smells something funny and asks if we've been drinking and we (honestly) say no. He shines the light around in our faces and asks what's up. At this point I started turning on the waterworks and just started crying, and told him that I was having 'problems at home' and that we just wanted somewhere safe to go to talk. Then the cop goes on to tell us that they'd been pulling drugs off of people back here in the church parking lot lately. We're all completely shocked by this and it shows, and I think that helped the situation, 'cause the guy proceeded to let us go. I asked if we had to leave right this second or if we could hang out for a little while longer, just to convince him that we weren't waiting for a dealer (or a buyer) to show up. He said sure, we could stay. We waited about 10 minutes and then got the fuck out of there.

So that is the closest I've ever come to being busted. I really think the only reason we got away is because we're all female, and I pulled that story out of my ass. It was a fucking buzzkill that's for sure though.

What's the closest brush you've had with the man (if you haven't been outright busted)? Anyone got a similar story?

afghooey Reviewed by afghooey on 09-15-2006. Closest call with the law? What's the closest you've come to being busted (if you haven't ever been busted)? My closest brush with the law was a few years ago. Me and two friends of mine had just got hooked up, and since I was still living with my rents at this time, we were trying to think of somewhere safe that we could go and smoke in peace without any trouble. Well, I don't remember who brought it up but one of us suggested we go sit in the church parking lot. It was evening, not late at night or anything, so Rating: 5

[Fengzi]

Me and a friend were driving back from a Grateful Dead concert in Wisconsin, smoking a a fat joint, in the left lane doing about 70 in a 55 zone. In addition to the joint we're smoking we had about a 1/2oz and a sheet of acid. I look in my mirror and first thought is "why is this asshole right on my ass". I look again and my second thought is "oh shit! That asshole has flashing lights on his roof". We totally freak out, open the window and smoke comes pouring out like something from a Cheech and Chong movie. We pull to the right so we can pull over and as soon as we're out of the left lane he goes flying by. Turns out he just wanted us out of the way so he could get somewhere else.

Another close call was when I was living in Shanghai China. I had scored some hash and found some funky old pipe in an antique market. I found what I thought was a secluded place in this big park and sat down to have a smoke. No sooner had I taken a hit than I sense someone standing behind me. I turn and see this ancient old-geezer cop standing right there looking at me. I'm about to have a heart attack, figuring I'm going to spend the rest of my life in some Chinese labor camp. The guy just stands there though, for what seemed like hours. Finally he just asks me where I'm from. I'm like "uh..uh.. Meiguo (chinese for USA)" and then he starts with like 1000 other questions. Pretty soon I figure that the guy really has no clue what I was doing. Weed and hash were pretty uncommon so most likely the guy had never encountered it before. Back then foriegners were pretty uncommon too, so he was more interested in the fact that I wasn't Chinese than what I might be doing. Probably figuring that I was just smoking some weird foriegn tobacco. The guy was really interested in me and asking a million questions "why are you here?" "where did you learn to speak Chinese?" , where in the U.S. do you live?" etc etc. By this time there was a bunch of people just sitting there staring at us which certainly didn't help calm me down. Finally I looked at my watch and was like "oh, it's late, gotta go" and took off. Needless to say I made sure to find a more secluded spot next time.

Another time me and a friend had just smoked a fat bowl and were walking back to his house. It was getting late so we decided to take a shortcut and cut across the park. Next thing we know we see a car coming towards us. At first we laughed, wondering what someone was doing driving through the park, then another car comes from behind us and the lights on both go on. The cops jump out of the car and throw us up against the hood. We're like "WTF? What did we do?" We has smoked before we got there, in a spot nobody could see us, and we weren't doing anything but walking, obvioulsy just cutting the corner and taking a shortcut. The cop was a total prick and was like "shut the fuck up,we'll ask the questions" and then tells us it's against the law to be in a city park after dark. Then he searches our pockets. I had an 1/8th of dank on me and tried to palm it best I could but they figured out what I was doing and busted me. All I got was a citation, no fine, or anything, and they brought me back home. Nothing like the look on your Dad's face when he opens the door in the middle of the night to see his son standing there with a cop. Ooops, guess that doesn't really qualify as a close call.

[afghooey]

Awesome stories, that first one made me laugh (the bit about something out of a cheech and chong movie) though I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time. I've been in situations like that too, where the cops just turned on their lights to get me out of the way. Makes your heart skip a beat though, I wouldn't be surprised if they do that now and then just to freak people out.

[LuckyNiner]

There's a hill, well, more like a mountain, above an elementary school near to where I live. It's a pretty awesome spot, and my friends and I have been using it rather often as a smoke/drink/chill spot lately. So one night, we get ahold of some 15x Salvia and decide to go up on the hill to smoke it, along with the ever-present bud. Needless to say, two of us tripped the fuck out. The rest were all watching us and smoking a few bowls of weed. After a while, we start heading down the hill, high and still feeling the after-effects of the Salvia. Get in the car, with the bong in my backpack along with about a Q of weed. Before we can pull out, a spotlight shines on us and a megaphone tells us to stay in the car. Oh fuck. Cops come up, shine lights, tell us it's illegal to be in a school parking lot after hours, and plus, we're out after curfew. One of the cops asks us "you guys got any dope in the car?". "No, of course not, officer." I give him some shit (are we being detained, are we free to go, is there a problem) and for a moment I think he's going to arrest me just for the hell of it. But they let us go eventually, despite the fact some of us are very obviously stoned. It's funny..everyone else was paranoid as hell, but my friend Jason and I (we were the only ones who had smoked Salvia) were bolder. We got pretty pissed off, actually.

[Ears13]

Ive had a couple close calls before. Last year our school had a hockey buyout game and me and a couple buddies decided to get blazed before we went. So we get on the bus about to head out and one of the teachers gets on the bus. Then some drunk guy yelled at him "Fuck you Mr. Woolings!!!". So he comes to the back of the bus and says that he smells pot. We all denied it but we were obviously lieing (I'm a real bad lyer when I'm baked) but anyways he just gave us this lecture about not going to the game baked and stuff... tripped me out.

Another time I was in a pavilion with my whole hockey team and we were all drinking or smoking then this cop pulls up in his cruiser and a couple of people try to run away which I thought was pretty funny because they were the guys that had nothing on them to get charged with but he pulls around and asks us what we were doing. We just say we are hanging out and whatever. Then he says that some people say that there is some kids walking around town drinking beer and we just deny it (like always) and he just says not to do it then leaves.

[jamstigator]

I was smuggling a pound back from Grenada in the 80s, concealed inside an MRE bag (Meal, Ready-To-Eat). MRE's were still the fairly new replacement for good ol' C-Rations, and not everyone had seen them. I was also carrying a real MRE, which I planned to eat right in front of everyone on the plane, to draw attention away from the other (pound of pot) MRE bag.

Well, we stopped in Puerto Rico for refueling, and it was gonna take an hour, so I went inside the customs building there. A customs inspector saw that I had two MREs, and asked me for one, just to try one out, see how they tasted compared to C-Rations. I handed him an MRE, being a generous guy.

But then I thought, hmm, which pocket did I have the pound of pot in again, left or right? I couldn't remember! That meant I didn't know if I'd just handed the customs inspector a pound of pot, or not. I surreptitiously felt the MRE bag in my other pants pocket and could tell it was the real one. Which meant that I *had* just handed the customs inspector a pound of pot.

Trying to disguise the fact that my heart was suddenly racing at about 200 beats per minute, I calmly asked the inspector if I could have that MRE back, and he take this one, as I preferred the flavor of the one I had originally given him. Seeing as it was a gift and cost him nothing, he could hardly refuse, and handed me back my pound of pot.

And I ran back to the plane and got the fuck outta Dodge. Lol!

[LuckyNiner]

I was smuggling a pound back from Grenada in the 80s, concealed inside an MRE bag (Meal, Ready-To-Eat). MRE's were still the fairly new replacement for good ol' C-Rations, and not everyone had seen them. I was also carrying a real MRE, which I planned to eat right in front of everyone on the plane, to draw attention away from the other (pound of pot) MRE bag.

Well, we stopped in Puerto Rico for refueling, and it was gonna take an hour, so I went inside the customs building there. A customs inspector saw that I had two MREs, and asked me for one, just to try one out, see how they tasted compared to C-Rations. I handed him an MRE, being a generous guy.

But then I thought, hmm, which pocket did I have the pound of pot in again, left or right? I couldn't remember! That meant I didn't know if I'd just handed the customs inspector a pound of pot, or not. I surreptitiously felt the MRE bag in my other pants pocket and could tell it was the real one. Which meant that I *had* just handed the customs inspector a pound of pot.

Trying to disguise the fact that my heart was suddenly racing at about 200 beats per minute, I calmly asked the inspector if I could have that MRE back, and he take this one, as I preferred the flavor of the one I had originally given him. Seeing as it was a gift and cost him nothing, he could hardly refuse, and handed me back my pound of pot.

And I ran back to the plane and got the fuck outta Dodge. Lol!

Hahahahah....that is a worthy story indeed. Sounds like something out of a movie. Also a good idea for international smuggling.

[romank12]

My closest was this time i was going to a party with a friend. I was stoned already and had two joints on me then we get pulled over. Pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt, it was lame. Anyways i was sittin in the passanger seat and the cop told me to get out of the truck because i didnt have my licence with me. He brought me over to his car and asked me if i had anything on me that i shouldnt, and of coarse i lied and said i didnt. He then told me to get in the back so he could take my information down. I sat in the back for like 20 minutes while he did this, but it seemed like so much longer, i was freakin out. But eventually everything turned out alright, cept he gave me a ticket for not wearing my seatbelt...stupid alaskan laws.

[Cassiopiea]

Two weeks ago, we were smoking up outside this town hall that a crap Jimmy Hendrix tribute act that we had paid a tenner each to go see. We were with my mates boss and he was rolling a big fatty, about an eighth of weed in his hand when suddenly this cop car pulls up RIGHT NEXT TO HIM! My other mate is finishing off a very pungent bifter and has another eighth in his pocket and these two cops leap over to us and start talking.

"Hello lads, we have heard something about some disturbances utside this gig, some lads causing trouble, know anything about it?"

"No officer we've just come outside, (which was almost true) look, here are our tickets" I flash him a bit of paper.

"Hmm, ok then lads you seem like a good sort, on your way then"

All the time my mate was smoking a bifter and his boss had a bag IN HIS HAND!!

We all looked at each other and said, "Uuum, i think were gonna go for, uuuuh, a kebab, yeah that sounds about right"

We walk off and the second we round the corner we peg it down an alley. 30 seconds later, cop car flies past.

The thing is, we werent even causing a disturbance, but we think someone must have told the police that we had been smoking weed a couple of seconds after we left.

[Tomorrow]

So I'm driving with my dick out right...(I was getting jerked off moments before) and I had just left this party...I still can't understand how I forgot to put my dick back in my pants but I did...but mind you I'm pretty fuckin buzzed and high and I had a little of both in my car still.

Anyway being high allowed me to keep the speed limit while driving but something about me must have still been suspicious because a short drive from the place, just before getting on the highway this cop pulls me over...now my car smells like straight up weed...I tried to lower the windows and put the air on blast for a moment while the cop approached but there was no way I would play it off.

So this young cop comes up to me and I was already thinking of an excuse for the smell...but he didn't even say anything except for the usual.

Then I realized he was looking at me funny with sort of a confused look on his face. HOLY SHIT MY DICK!

I thought...for sure I'm busted now...how the fuck was I going to explain that!?

I guess the cop was just too weirded out by the whole thing that he didn't even give me a ticket...I still don't know why he stopped me. He just told me to drive safe and let me go...I got on the highway and bounced...never had a better nights sleep.