ignorance bothers me

[blsfan]

What's up everyone, I'm a moderate smoker ( about 10-15 times a month) who beleives in freedom for eveyone as long as you don't harm anyone.

I don't care if people smoke or not, but I do believe in knowing why they don't want to smoke( If they choose to tell me), just as I beleive in telling them why I choose to smoke ( If there willing to listen).

I have discussed my opinions w/ all my friends and have opened there eyes to the truth, I only know/ are friends with 2 people who don't smoke one I could care less about one of them, and the other is my girlfriend.

My girlfirend (who is amazing) chooses to drink alcohol and smoke and inhale cigarettes and cigars on a moderate basis (socially) which I have some issues with but it's her body and her life.

She does not smoke the weed nor has she ever, which I am fine with. Every now and then I like to discuss marijuanna with her and try to explain my opinion on the plant and in return hear hers. I feel that in any relationship, open discussion, understanding and finally compromise or agreement is essential.

She sees it as a negative thing to do, though she won't give me a straight answer why. She says she does not care if I do it, which is semi not true, she'll be cool for a couple of weeks and then get on my case about it.
She'll find a bunch of ignorant "facts" stating the harmful effects of it and then turn around and smoke tobacco and drink alcohol ( both poisons in my opinion).

I have been making some progress with her as of lately, she says that some day she might try it, which is fine with me if she does and fine if she doesn't.
Then tonight we discussed it again ( as we are going to a concert soon and I plan to herbalize) and as usual it ended in an argument over nothing, I was stating my opinion on the matter in a calm and reasonable way, and she says she doesn't want to hear about it and for me to stop lecturing her( even though she brought it up)

This insignificant topic has been the major source of our arguments in an otherwise amazing relationship.

I don't want to force my opinions on her and I definently don't want to force her to smoke, but I do want her to be more understanding with my choice to smoke, just as I am understanding with her choice to use tobacco and alcohol

It's just she is so filled with media, gov, family, school, religious, social, etc garbage. I feel bad for her. I want to help open her eyes to the truth, if only for her to be more understanding with me. I know her is trying t obe more understanding, but it's obivious she very conflicted.

What should I do, I don't want to stop smoking ( as I believe there is nothing wrong with it) at the same time I don't want to ruin something amazing over something as unimportant as a way I choose to relax, opinions welcome.

blsfan Reviewed by blsfan on 09-15-2006. ignorance bothers me What's up everyone, I'm a moderate smoker ( about 10-15 times a month) who beleives in freedom for eveyone as long as you don't harm anyone. I don't care if people smoke or not, but I do believe in knowing why they don't want to smoke( If they choose to tell me), just as I beleive in telling them why I choose to smoke ( If there willing to listen). I have discussed my opinions w/ all my friends and have opened there eyes to the truth, I only know/ are friends with 2 people who don't Rating: 5

[Hamlet]

She smokes cigarettes and drinks? For her it's a social 'class' thing then. She probably looks down on 'stoners' as beneath her. It's part of her identity.

[newactivist]

Good luck, I never was noted for being "correct" talking to women either. IMO, just be yourself, and people will either be there or they won't.

Just keep the smoking and your opinions to yourself. The less she sees it or hears about it the less you will. It was the only way I was able to get some peace. Of course, then I dumped her and now have a very successful lady who also smokes!

If she is willing to read anything introduce her to the websites listed below to see if it will change her mind.

www.jackherer.com
http://www.sierratimes.com/03/11/07/article_kubby.htm
www.artistictreasure.com

[psychocat]

I am a take it or leave it guy, if people like me then thats fine if they don't then they don't have to have anything to do with me.

WYSIWYG.

What you see is what you get !

[budzy malone]

The kind of person who hits you on the head and then deprives you of aspirin. I know, whats wrong with clearing your mind once in a while>

[Cas]

my mom is the person who thinks "marijuana" is bad because it's illegal. if breathing air was illegal, she'd hold her breath for as long as she could. she doesn't look at things whether they're right or wrong, moreas legal vs. illegal which to me is ghey.

[graymatter]

She smokes cigarettes and drinks? For her it's a social 'class' thing then. She probably looks down on 'stoners' as beneath her. It's part of her identity.

Unless her choice of "tobacco" is chewing it... then, we got a whole 'nother category of class considerations :rasta:

[Hamlet]

Unless her choice of "tobacco" is chewing it... then, we got a whole 'nother category of class considerations

hehe...in that case she's a bubba. But it's still a social class consideration

[binger]

Cas may have touched on something there. It may just be due to the legal issues. I have a similar situation in that my wife doesn't approve of my smoking, but accepts it. She's never touched it, and claims she never will. I say never say never, but that's a different story.

We've discussed it many times, mostly at my prompting. It doesn't matter what argument I make in support of usage, she will always counter with its legality. She won't even entertain a moral argument. She's worried about what we could lose should I get caught.

I wish I could get her to open her mind, but only she can do that. It's awesome to share it with someone close to you like that. Until then, I'll enjoy enough for both of us. Until she comes around, I just don't flaunt it in front of her. She knows exactly when I do it, and sometimes jokes with me about it.

As I accept her for things that I don't agree with, she accepts me for this. That's what you do in a relationship.

[Hamlet]

"It doesn't matter what argument I make in support of usage, she will always counter with its legality."

I had a friend like that with the same argument. Of course he had no problems with the legal issues of driving while intoxicated, etc..

Some people equate legality with morality because they don't want to spend the time constructing their own moral code, forgetting that slavery was once legal and anyone helping an escaped slave was a felon.

But again, with my friend, legality was only his argument. What it all boiled down to was he saw himself as better class of people than those 'stoners'.