Thanks to everyone who responded, I really appreciate it.

Inferius, that was well said.

I think that at the beginning, the way I used Cannabis was not abusive. That was so long ago that I'm not even sure when it became something different to me. I have genuinely enjoyed this break from smoking, and it has really made me think about what were my reasons for blazing. I would not like to admit it, but Cannabis was owning me in one way or another. A nasty perpetuation that I was caught in the middle of.

I have a great respect for this plant, much more so now that I've stepped back off of it. I feel much more grateful for what it really is, and the things that it can do to help people, if used correctly. I think William Blake said something like, 'the road to enlightenment is through excess.' I wouldn't recognize Cannabis for what it really is unless I had gone too far with it, and now that I have, I feel much more humbled. Being blazed all the time is not as glorious as I used to believe, haha. I look forward to the day when I will be able to smoke with genuinely good intentions. Harvest time is about five weeks away......................

Thanks again to everyone for responding, it has helped me sort this out with myself. Much love and respect.