My Best Friend's Dead.

[HazmatTHC]

I lost a friend of mine a few years ago. she was really unhappy over so many things.

When pain exceeds coping resources, suicide is quite often the answer taken. To the person with the pain, its the only way to stop the pain. No its not the accustomed "Proper" way of dealing with pain, but to the person at the moment, it is. Even tho i disagree with suicide, i can understand why some people resort to it.

I feel for you man. In time things will heal, but not entirely *hugs*

[BigBlock]

That really sucks. I had a similar situation recently...I found my friend's body. He put a gun in his mouth. As much as it hurts I know he must have been feeling much worse to do such a thing. I used to think it was stupid/ridiculous/selfish/cowardly/ect too, but I think I understand why someone could do that now. It's just hard to imagine untill you have some really bad things happen in your life...then it seems so obvious.

If he was here now I'd give him a hug and them punch him in the face for doing what he has to his friends and family. I'll have the image of how I found him stuck in my head forever.

[Creeper]

what urks me though is that my other best friend had to watch his mom fight for life when she was dying of cancer and then My buddy who off'd himself just throws his life away like that, he never mentioned a goddamn word to us, and we all told him that whatever he had to say to just say it cause we knew hed feel bad, he event went to counseling and all the ohter bullshit you could go to, and then he just fuckin kills himself, Im sad and angry for his family, his problems are over with, its just his mom and his sis.....I feel so fucking bad for em. He always used to say how suicide was a pussies death before and after his died shot himself....but i guess he just didnt care anymore. I understand he was in pain, but people who have been through alot worse dont kill themselves. Its just fucked, I dont know anymore.

[Creeper]

That really sucks. I had a similar situation recently...I found my friend's body. He put a gun in his mouth. As much as it hurts I know he must have been feeling much worse to do such a thing. I used to think it was stupid/ridiculous/selfish/cowardly/ect too, but I think I understand why someone could do that now. It's just hard to imagine untill you have some really bad things happen in your life...then it seems so obvious.

If he was here now I'd give him a hug and them punch him in the face for doing what he has to his friends and family. I'll have the image of how I found him stuck in my head forever.

I tried to commit suicide before(I was horribly depressed for 4 years because of physical and verbal abuse from my dad), but the gun misfired, scared the fucking shit out of me. Afterwards I looked at my family and I understood how horrible they would feel, how selfish of me for even trying is how I felt. If you do that you dont even think about anything but yourself, and thats what I thought about when I squeezed the trigger: nothing but myself. I told him this and he agreed it was selfish...then 2 months later, hes fuckin gone.

[Its a Plant]

Coping with suicide is something that tests one's own inner-strength and courage. Plain and simple, it's tough.

Back in April of this year, my dad almost got away from us. And it was such a shock to everyone. Luckily my stepmom walked in on him trying to doze off for that long eternal nap after a cocktail of about 50 Tylenol PM's, half a bottle of vikes, and another bottle of various meds, all while the car is running in the garage at my grandpa's house. My pops had everything planned out, too. He had been scheming since at least 5 months leading up to the event. He made new, larger life insurance policies for us kids and his wife around January, so that told us right away he was mentally unstable. He had lost his business to bankruptcy about a year earlier, and had been out of work, and money, ever since. In his extreme state of depression and desperation, he tried to solve his money troubles. To him, at the time, taking his own life and leaving his family with oddles of money seems like the only answer. If it meant that we were okay, he would do it. Some might call him a bad father, but others might call him the most selfless man alive. Myself, I am still not sure.

What makes it harder for me, especially, is that I stumbled upon the 'crime scene', quite by accident, the day after it happened. Since I hadn't heard from him all week, after I got off work, I went over to my grandpa's house, whom he was house-sitting for the time being. No one was there, so I walked around the back and into the garage, only to see a long black tube from the gutter sticking out of the back of my grandpa's Towncar, with the window slightly cracked. At first, I thought maybe he was vaccuming the car out and just didn't clean up the mess, but then it hit me. It was like being hit with a million bricks in the stomach. Naturally, my mind went into a frenzy trying to figure out anything I could.

I looked in the car and saw a picture of my sister and I, him and his wife, and one of my grandpa and his girlfriend. There was also his empty pill bottles and a lone empty can of beer on the floor. He had a bible in the car too, surprisingly enough. I never thought of him as a religious man, but he had a few verses marked and I'm assuming he read over those as he nodded off. I sat there for probably a half hour just sobbing. Mostly b/c it was just SO depressing to go like this. He was so alone. I just kept envisioning him, sititng in the running car, sobbing, reading over the bible. I was really curious as to what, if any, music he was listening to, but the keys were gone. What's funny is that I looked up info on death by carbon minoxide poisoning from car fumes and found out it is no longer lethal after all motor companies opted on installing catalytic converters in all mufflers to stop almost all the toxic CO2 from coming out the tailpipe. So he might have gone, he might not of. The pills alone were enough I'd think. He was in a drunken stupor for 3 days straight.

I sincerely apologize for the lengthy post, but I had to get that out I guess. My point is that you just have to take into account what was going on in your friend's life, and also their head. Everyone's different. Take my dad: he saw suicide as a way to solve our money troubles, when in reality it would not only have left a bunch of people without their favorite 'big guy', but the insurance company would probably not have paid off a suicide. Most, if any, do. And in your friend's situation, it looks like he just couldn't take the depression anymore. The pain was too much, and I totally believe it. Hell, I didn't even lose my dad, and it was still enough to make me shudder and breakdown at the thought of losing him. I can only imagine actually losing a close friend or family member.

Hope you get through this okay, man. Others, including the fine folks in our cyber-cannabis-culture, are here for you. Best wishes ~

[Cheery Cherry]

*HUGS* I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Creeper. The only thing you can do now is to remember the great times you had with your friend.

I can't imagine feeling so trapped and so alone. Feeling like there's no way out of pain one feels except to die.

[tootsie roll]

I'm sorry for your loss Creeper.
Back when I was in hs/college there was a rash of suicides and deaths. It hurt so much back then and now again when I see another generation go thru it.
I know nothing I say will make you feel better but I can leave you with this. A quote from the older brother of a suicide victim.
"Can you even imagine the strength it takes to kill yourself like that"
(it was a hanging)
It's hard Creeper. Real hard but you gotta stay strong. If you feel you need professional help to cope do it and do it for yourself and your well being.

>>>hugs to you Plant>>>

[Budman37]

Paddyahern..
Guess your talking about me...Jeez your a real comfort..Im not trying to convert anybody just thought id try to give a little hope that creeper and his buddy will see each other again...
Creeper if I offended you i am trully sorry!!!!! I meant no disrespect

[shoi]

shit man this actually made me sad i would be rlly sad if my best friend died....

i hope u feel better soon

[tyrantowns]

I'm sorry creeper , stay strong.
Same to you Plant.