I had randomly decided to grow some weed in the meadow behind my house. It wasn't a very serious attempt; I just threw some seeds in the ground and left them. Now, pretty much no one goes in this field. I go out there a couple times a day to walk my dogs, and I've only seen a couple people in there (not in the area of the plant) like 3 or 4 times since I've lived here (like 7 or so years now).

Well, suprisingly one of the seeds grew, not very big, though. I would go out and check on it like once every other day at the most. It had been several months and it showed no signs of flowering so I figured it was a male anyways, but like I said it wasnt a serious attempt, and I know shit about growing, so i didnt care. Well, a couple weeks ago I was out there walking my dogs and decided to check on the plant, and one of my dogs gets into a fucking bee's nest, and all three of us are attacked by bees. So we fucking book out of the field as fast as we can, and I haven't been back to check on the plant since (I am terrified of bees, not to mention allergic) so it's a been a good 2-3 weeks since I checked on it.

I finally talked myself into going over there today, and I walk over to the spot and the PLANT IS FUCKING GONE. Just GONE. I know that it's the right spot and everything. I told no one about this plant, either. This field is huge, too, I cant imagine anyone finding it unless they were looking for it. I just dont know what happened.


The second story is about how god punished me for getting high at work the other day. It was the first time I decided to smoke before work, and I was pretty high, too. So I go in there, and first of all my manager is there who is almost never around, so that sucks. I dont really look all that high though, except for droopy eyes which I just blamed on lack of sleep.

So, I'm going about my business (I work at the deli in a Shoppers) when my boss walks up to me and whispers something to me. She sounds all urgent, and it took me a couple minutes to realize that she said "Health department is here." Now, I get semi-easily paranoid when I'm high, so immediately I start thinking about how it would be fucked up If something I did got everyone in trouble, so I start cleaning like crazy, which of course makes me laugh. So now the health inspector is like 3 yards away, and I'm cleaning the same spot for 5 minutes, giggling my ass off.

So a bit later in the day, this old lady walks up to the deli and she's looking down, and I ask if she needs help with anything. Well, she doesn't respond, and I fucking hate when customers do that so I get annoyed, and I think in my head, "what're you deaf?"

Which of course, she is. And also mute.

So I'm high as hell, and she's trying to explain to me what she wants with fucking hand signals, which of course brings to my attentions that SHE ONLY HAS ONE HAND. The other hand stops right under the knuckles and then forms a cone shape. That is a fucked up thing to see when you're stoned off your ass. So she's tries to write down what she wants, but with only one hand to use and nothing to lean on? God, I could barely make it out.

And so this douche bag deli teacher that is working with us now who thinks he's better than all of us, comes over and is like, "Can I help you with anything, ma'am?" And since she can't see him she doesnt say anything, and he walks over to her side and sees her hand-stump thing, and very noticeably jumps. Like 2 feet over. I was about to die trying not to laugh.
euphoriaisendearing Reviewed by euphoriaisendearing on . 2 Crazy Stories (longish read) I had randomly decided to grow some weed in the meadow behind my house. It wasn't a very serious attempt; I just threw some seeds in the ground and left them. Now, pretty much no one goes in this field. I go out there a couple times a day to walk my dogs, and I've only seen a couple people in there (not in the area of the plant) like 3 or 4 times since I've lived here (like 7 or so years now). Well, suprisingly one of the seeds grew, not very big, though. I would go out and check on it like Rating: 5