*takes a big breath*

I used to feel that my friendships we unbalanced. I saw that I provided more for them than they did for me. I have always been a better friend than I had returned to me when needed.
But it was my ego talking and placing expactations on them and desiring control of aspects of a relationship that should not need controling.
As long as there is mutual benefit in a relationship it doesnt matter who does more for the other or who shows more loyalty. I cannot expect them to be more like me can I? No, thats an obsurd thought. But , one that causes rifts and prevents many a person from enjoying what they have in front of them.
A friend is not an extention of ourselves but , go figure, a seperate person.
When expectations are not met it erodes our good feelings towards others and prevents us from sharing openly and drawing on the pool of enrichment offered.
So, now I expect nothing, I demand nothing, and I offer openly. Because if I react with ego, I do not change who they are...I change who I am.
And that, my friends, is not benefitting anyone and the only one hurt is me.
So, to answer your question, I am perfectly happy with my friendships.
I am open to more always and I do not remember "trespasses" and injury because I fel it takes away from me not them.
Even on these boards...I have read and commented on some pretty ignorant things some have said and done but I forget it and move on.
I might have disliked something someone said or did but it does not affect how much I love each and every one of you simply for being you.
I love everyone and dont reserve this for people who are more like me or act like I feel they should act.
Unconditional love friends....thats what its all about.


*gasps for air*
peace.