Graph has said a lot of intelligent insightful things here.
I want to add though that your bf is not a lost cause due to his outlook and attitude.
There are ways that both of you can work together to find the balance in your relationship if you both feel it is worthwhile to do so.
I would suggest that start by finding some activities that you both enjoy doing together. Sometimes when we get stuck in a rut a simple thing like trying some new recreation or entertainment will do wonders for giving us a mood pick up that will set us in a different mind set long enough to break out of negative and harmful thought patterns.
If you can enjoy life together , have some fun, some romance, some laughs and shed some stresses it has great potential to rebuild a bond that got neglected.
Relationships get stagnant and die if no effort is put into continuing to learn and enjoy time together.
This is the "spark" people speak of.
So, find a new way to spark it up rather than sparkin up a doobie.
Sit and look into each others eyes for a few minutes, holdding hands palm tp palm without saying a word.Look not "at" each other, but "into" each other. Feel the love welling up inside you. Then talk about things you used to enjoy doing. Talk about why you love each other. Motivation to get up and get out there living life can be found in this little excersize.
This is only the first step but it can do wonders.

peace.