the name is for Ian Curtis, whom my heart goes out to. After reading Touching From a Distance by Deborah Curtis, Ian's story is almost a mirror image of my life thus far--minus the epilepsey.

xiu xiu is also the name of a movie about a little chinese girl who becomes a prostitute. in the end, poor little xiu xiu is killed because she becomes an arrogant whore bitch. that's kind of what happened to alot of women i know though--luckly for them, they haven't been killed. just the whore bitch part is true.