Ah... the romances of love during school. I remember my first break-up, I was dating this girl (let's call her Beth), well after 2 weeks of making out and squeezing her premature tities she dumps me. Why, you may be asking? When I think about it, it still cracks me up to this day. We went to a party together, after hanging out with friends and having a good time in the backyard we get into a fight. This fight was beyond retarded, about how I didn't spend lunch time with her, I liked hanging out with my buddies (bros before hoes). So she gets mad and storms off into the house. As it turns out, Beth had a small tub of Vasoline in her purse, which she originally inteded to use for us (we were young, and I didn't know I could purchase condoms at that age.) Yes, you guessed it, she wanted it in the poop-shute. She was pissed at me though, so she let some random guy fuck her in the ass, out of spite against me. Even better, since it was her first time, Beth didn't have much bowel control and ended up shitting on his dick.

She felt terrible about this, and dumped me like it was my fault. I ended up kicking that one guy's ass, but now we are very good friends.

This was in the 7th grade.