Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnā??t lifting himself up, heā??s pushing the Earth down.
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. <--my favorite
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Those are some of my favorites. When you play WoW, people list these off ad nauseum. There's even a mod that someone made where you can type /chuck and your character says one of the hundreds of Chuck Norris jokes out there.