Chuck Norris joke thread.....

[bigmac2169]

Chuck Norris is so badass, he eats rocks and shits lightning bolts

[usedchemicals]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity....twice.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man. He gave Jesus the gift of beard. Jesus wore it til the day he died. Due to obvious gift favoritism, the other three wise men omitted his name from the bible. Shortly afterwards, all three died of roundhouse related injuries.

[durban poison]

Chuck Norris sheds his dick 3 times a day. You may have seen some of it used as extras for Snakes On A Plane

[Mista Sippi]

chuck norris found osama bin laden 4 years ago

[robert42]

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man. He gave Jesus the gift of beard. Jesus wore it til the day he died. Due to obvious gift favoritism, the other three wise men omitted his name from the bible. Shortly afterwards, all three died of roundhouse related injuries.

lmao by far the best one!

[Euphoric]

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris goes uphill skiing.


The Jihadists are pissed because they can no longer tell their recruits to expect 73 virgins in heaven. The best they can do now is 73 women who have already had sex with Chuck Norris.

[IanCurtisWishlist]

"because i am selfish and want a higher step in heaven, i want to move to idaho to establish my church where jesus christ will return with joseph smith and his many wifes, to take me and the people who have watched my movies to heaven. jesus christ and i are good friends but he knows who the real lord is. and in case YOU didn't know, the real lord is me, chuck norris--the one who brought you ought of the land of Egypt and who will deliver you from bordeom with such smash hits as Walker, Texas Ranger. THUS the lord has spoken."

--Quote from Chuck Norris during the 80's cocaine party, March 20th 1986. (drug psychosis got you down chuck?)