Advice Please....

[FAllout]

Hey all,
If you would read this and give me your opinion. My 17 yr old son , has had his jr. liscence for about 2 months, which means he cant drive past 11 pm.Im not sure what by law, the consequences are, any way, when he came home at 1230 am, I said "you know what time it "? And yes he smokes weed.Any way he said I had to take a couple kids home, and I had a bad nite and went in his room, well I went in, mind you I was pissed and worried cause I told him I would call him on his cell close to 11 to make sure he was on his way home. Well, I just said well ok, this is the 2nd time he came home after 11) No driving , except to work for a month, he will be 18 on sept. 18th. He goes" I aint losing my car". I left his room n went to sleep.The next day I told my hubby,his step dad, he works 3rd shift ,he started off by calmly saying , what time did you get home last night, well after telling him what could of happened, my son said-- I heard enough of this shit n went i his room- my hubby followed , him I didnot, but my hubby said he grabbed him by the neck cause when he went after him he slammed the door in my hubbys face.So , what do yall think? I agree in the fact that he must go by our rules n pay the price, but i kinda didnt feel good about him grabbing my son by the throat
please give sum input n opinions.
thanks
sorry so long....
ps, my husband has done alot of things for my 3 boys and this is the first time he grabbed him.

Ok this is comign form a 17 year old kid...
Your son is guna be pissed for a week or two and might not talk to your husband or you..

Also about him leaving I leave all the tiem sence its summer and ownt be home till 4 or 5 in the morning some times : P

Aslong as you raised him to be abole to chose for him self and stay away form hard drugs hes guan be alright.

[FeastonThisSHITT]

but, WG actuallt said the Son does accept the stepdad...He let himn handle his money...he let him advise hom on financial decsion's...sounds like a DAD to me.

On the other hand if son want s to get computer, then he better forego the luxuries and chip in.

all I have to say. not comfortable with draggin WG's business any furhter...peace

Lol... I trust my financial advisor with my finances. I guess that entitles him to be my father figure.

Finances.... and you say that sounds like a dad to you? I would hop a Dad means much more to you than that.

If not... to each his own.

[FeastonThisSHITT]

Very much so accepts him, he remembers his biological dad and what he was like and he was 9!!!! his real dad would do donuts with my kids in the car when he had them on weekends, not give them baths and sulk cause we werent together , very unstable man, like i said before he is illerate was on ssi and still is and y? because he was in special classes in HS, but he is fully able to work!!! so there ya have it yes, he ( my hubby ) has been saving money for my son for the 4 yrs my son had been working , in that time my son has saved alot of $$$$$$$$$ and has bought what he wanted also, he wants to get a newer computer , so we will probably talk to him and maybe say we will purchase the computer , with a credit card and he will pay us back , my son is a good worker been working at the same place since he was 14, he will be 18 next month, not the greatest money,, but its close to home and he does not pay rent at this time , i buy his groceries and clothes, but if there is clothing that he wants that is expensive , he buys it!! LOL
He even asked his step father if he could camp out back , we have alot of land and a make shift fire place, so him and a couple kids from the neighbor hood pitched a tent no harm, but me , being the worrier that i am said , i dunno, i thought they would be up all night and i wouldnt sleep- but they werent.my hubby is on third shift, i am on workman's comp right now. And as far as who is living with who, when i met him 8 yrs ago , we had both left our spouses, met on here after 5 months of talking , which was cool when we finally met cause i felt like i knew him, in the mean time we lived with our mom's. then we got an apt together. then about 4 yrs ago we built a house. four car garage with 2 acres. and we work together money wise, it works out great. its funny cause when we first moved in together yrs ago , my son was like i wanna move back in with my dad ,the next day he changed his mind--- realizing his dad has NOTHING, dosent work and is probably in a 2 room section 8 house , i dunno ,he was told to have no contact with the kids, because of his prior actions. But if he really wanted to see them , he has my address, he could have contacted his "FREE" LAWYER and demanded to see them, cause this took place right after we split up. must be nice to just forget you have kids. and here my husband, who never had kids of his own , is raising them with me and loves it!! I feel like he is a big kid too, he is the best thing that ever happened to me n my kids.
sorry so long guys
peace
WG:thumbsup:

Well there ya go, if the kid accepts him as a father there shouldn't be any problems

The guy I call Dad wasn't my biological father. He was just dad all throughout my life wince I was 1 year old. I never met my biological father he was a drunk insane bastard.

If you were to ask your son if your husband grabbing his throat felt unatural and wrong because he isn't the bio father.... and his response was yes.... well there is your answer, regardless of what people on the internet say....

If he says no, than he doesn;t feel unerved by the man... he DOES in fact accept him as a father figure... and again,,,, there is your answer.... again... regardless of what people on the internet, or even yourself thinks.

[daima]

My first thoughts whiskey..

you guys need to sit down and say sorry....

Talking..... not fighting

If you want to solve this....You and your husband need to bite the bullet, and start things off. He is looking for reasons to rebel...hes 17.

In my eyes...at 17 I was a Man. I had been the man of the house for a while, but I still made bad decisions.........

Tell him when he is 18...His curfew is up to him, but he should respect the others in the house and come in at a reasonable hour....


Punishment should fit the crime....1 month no car, for 1.5 hours late????

i would have been pissed too......... maybe he is the one with the sense?

Remember...that is his step dad ( I had 3).... if one had layed his hands on me..... I would have kicked his ass..... your husband needs to respect him too.

Does a slammed door deserve...assault? < thats is what your son is thinking

IMO sounds like your husband need to start with the appoligys...then let you talk... your son has no respect for him....They bolth need to work on respect.
who is the adult, who should know better?

WG, time to talk to your son about moving out.

I see he cant drive past 11 by law..... let the police deal with him.


Hang in there..............

Sounds good.

dai*ma:stoned:

[WhiskeyGirl]

By the way, they are talking to each other again
in fact my son came home from work and wanted to talk to him, his mirror on the inside of his car was ready to fall off, you know the 1 in the windshield, and he thought super glue, lol but he asked him I dunno know what he told him , think i heard him say something about going to like pep boys for special stuff to make it stick. But this is what im talking about , he has no clue about cars and he is always there for him, to answer his questions! Me , i woulda tried SUPER GLUE????? LOL Dont it work for every thing??
well, guys n gals Have a good 1 and thanks again for all Advice ,it was very much appreciated!!!!
WG

[latewood]

Lol... I trust my financial advisor with my finances. I guess that entitles him to be my father figure.

Finances.... and you say that sounds like a dad to you? I would hop a Dad means much more to you than that.

If not... to each his own.

I was bringing up the trust issue...but as usual...people on forums interpret statements in their own way.

whiskey girl agreed with me though...Huh?

[latewood]

whiskey girl...since this happened quite a few days ago, and you have about all the advice you can take...I am closing thread. I hope everything works out for you guys, but I feel we needn't drag this incident out any further. If you have a big problem with this, contact me and I will re-open it, but I felt like perhaps it is better for eveyone if you are allowed to move past this day...peace