a guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, 'if you woke up in the woods and scratched your arse and felt vaseline(ky jelly), would you tell anyone?'
'of course not!' the guy said.
the stranger then asked, 'if you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used condom, would you tell anyone?'
'no way' said the guy.
'great' said the stranger. 'fancy going camping then?'