It really does sound like you're expecting too much and are too tense when you smoke. The fact that you are able to document your experience in such detail kind of points to that. The first time I smoked I was nervous and tense and was expecting a lot and was thinking about all the things I'd heard about smoking weed and getting high-- and I ended up not getting high worth a damn. Next time, just relax. Don't think about chronicling what it feels like. Just try to relax, hang out with close friends, watch one of your favorite tv shows or a movie. Just relax.