Everyone, and their brain chemistry, is different. Your story depresses me.
Maybe pot isn't for you. However, maybe you should give it one more chance.
Be in a good mood, somewhere you feel the most comfortable, and safe. Smoke a lot more. It's possible that this strain or quality of weed just isn't the right one for you.
Are you on any medications?

A lot of new smokers have this whole incredible idea of what it feels like to be stoned, before they actually do it. This may be directly influencing your high. The best way to really feel it, is to almost forget that you're doing anything mind-altering at all.