i was so desperate for some weed one time, that i went into south central LA and magically became a black man. then i ran up to these 2 black dudes and i said "please man give me some weed". they said "no get out of here you bitch", and i said "please man i got these cheese burgers" while flashing at them a sack of cheese burgers. "I dont want no cheeseburgers!" exclaimed the appalled waynes brothers. I reply with a desperate cry: "please man I will suck your dick".

pretty desperate my friend, pretty desperate.