Did I lose my cool?

[yabatab]

I love that avatar Skink.

[smokinbass]

in general.. i have to say i deplore violance, and condem the use in all but when it is for self defence or the defence of others...


But then.... a jerk like that needs to be put in his place... Good for u for standing up for your cuz...

[Ganjasaurusrex]

Nochowder,

I have been in those situations so many times that if I acted in a physical manner Id never get out of prison.

I have plenty of schooling in martial arts and I will only strike as a last resort in self defense. Then its no holds barred.

But in this situation I realize I would be a little agitated having this guy swear at my cousin, but I would not let him see it. I would maintain self-control of my emotions.

On the other hand the main reason I dont resort to snap-action violence is that I dont need a felony charge. That can really have long term consequences for your job, travel etc.

I think I would have just ignored the comment like I do so many times when I run across people like you describe.

I tend to avoid the verbal back and fourth war that elevates it. If he makes a remark, I remain silent. Then it throws him because he doesnt know what your thinking.

Many times I found this internal worry from your opponent from your lack of response or NOT knowing what you are going to do can bring about an appology or body languange and tone that conveys it because you actually upset this dynamic. Thats a powerful way to diffuse an opponent because the internal worry is worse for him than your response in letting him know exactly where you stand.

He created it, you dont respond, its his negative energy returned to himself.

Self-control is a powerful tool.

Beating respect into the man will fuel and elevate this dynamic. Then its his turn to "show you" or "get even". Its a vicious cycle.

There is a never ending stream disrespectful people in society and you will run into another in the future you can count on that.

It seems to be a never ending test.

Realize it for what it is.......a test and learn from it.




Have a good one.

[jamstigator]

I think there are 13 states now where you can defend yourself with deadly force, without the need (or requirement) to flee first. I think they call them "Stand Your Ground" laws. Even if you could walk away, or drive away, and avoid a confrontation, you no longer have to -- just blow your assailant away, no problem, not a crime. There's some cab driver who shot a dude who tried to get back into his cab, and that cab driver is very likely to go free. You lean into someone's car these days, you're taking a big chance of taking one to the brain, and even zombies don't get up from that.

[Love Street]

i wouldnt have sucker punched him and spit on him like im in the second grade...

if he continued to mouth me off after the first initial words were exchanged i would have just said look buddy you got 2 choices either you stfu and move your vehicle or i kick your face in, then obviously he would bark something back at you, and thats when you lay a punch into this old fucks shnozz

[Sig]

in general.. i have to say i deplore violance, and condem the use in all but when it is for self defence or the defence of others...


But then.... a jerk like that needs to be put in his place... Good for u for standing up for your cuz...

Way to be a hypocrite :thumbsup:

[letsmatch1]

In situation like that man, you gotta be seriously careful. If you care about your cousin that much, tell her to go park somewhere while you handle your business. She could possibly become a victim of natural selection. You can do alot with a car color.hair color.make of car.2 friends.and an inch of luck.......Unless you hit him just that hard.......

[tootsie roll]

What ever happened to "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me"?

Yes, the guy was being a jerk but that's on him. The consequences on you could be big now. Is the guy a local? What if you run in to him while he's with friends and in another foul mood?
Stupid shit like that can get people killed. How would you have explained it to your aunt and uncle if your cousin got hurt or killed?

Just so you know, what you did is felony assault. If he didn't report you today, he may tomorrow.

Just isn't worth it...

[Nochowderforyou]

hi people,

I respect all of your comments, positive and negative.

I lost it big time yesterday. I have been to anger management before, and it did seem to help, but in a way, it didn't. I go to a therepist every 3months, and through the years, I have learned not to bottle things up. I used to, and I would erupt at the wrong time in mental breakdowns, so I have learned to express how I feel at that moment.

Wrong way to express it though. Now that I think about it, hitting a man for blocking a road so I can make a quick stop at the hardware store, just seems a little too much. I fipped on him, big time.

For the record, I didn't sucker punch him. My fist was clenched and he saw me coming for a good 15ft while he continued to test me. I didn't spit on him, that's why I bolded at him, but it seems it still didn't stand out, so next time, I'll use huge letters the size of the screen.

Bye.

[daima]

hi,

Well, today I had an extreme case of "fist-mouth." I hit a middle aged man in the face and watched his nose blow up like a blood bomb.

The short story. My 18yr old cousin is down visiting and today I asked her (she drives) if she could stop at the hardware store so I could pick up some things. This guy, who is parked in the parking lot, has a trailer, and is parked at the front of the lot. 2 car length, even 3 car length space he's taking up, and blocking EVERYONE out so they can't get in. She honks her horn, we wait about 15min, so finally I convince her to just sneak around him as she has a Neon, a small car. She does, and as we're driving by, she rolls down her window, in a calm manner, and before she says anything, buddy says, "now that wasn't so fuckin hard, now was it!?"

Okay, at this point, I'm mad. For one, she didn't even say anything to him, second, she's a female who has never done anyone wrong. Show some damn respect.

So I pipe up as my cousin is clearly upset at this jerk, and I say, "you were blocking traffic man, we just wanted to get through." Jerk says, "well I've been waiting here for 4 fucking hours, so up yours asshole."

Now, my hands were shaking soooooo bad and I was so pissed off, I got out of the car, walking over to him, and he opens his mouth again, "are you going to do something fuckwad." Then SMASH! I cracked him so hard in the nose that it brought him to his knees. I walked away, spit at him, not on him, and said, "thanks for the fight pal" and smiled.

So...did I lose my cool at all. I figured this dude had it coming, and someone would have not been so nice to him. Tell me what you think, and if I am an ass, let me know.

you lost your cool
you werent nice to him
you committed a battery on another person because you didnt like they way they drove,parked, or spoke.
you spit on another/at another, which is resorting back to early primate behaviors.
you cant go throught life beating people up because you dont like what they say. You can, but one day you will hit another and they might fall, hit their head, die, and you go to prison.
The biggest problems i ever had in my life were due to MY way of thinking.
We justify our prehistroic behaviors by using our belief system to rationalize what harm we do to another.
You arent an ass. IMO, you could take a little more time to learn how to deal with your anger.
I will telll you this brother...
if i hit every person who said something that offended me, or instigated my male ego and activated my y chromosome, i'd be fighting instead of responding to this message.
It sounds like your cousin was going to say something, and buddy beat her to the proverbial, punch. The next time(hopefully there wont be one), perhaps you, your cousin, even though you may be right, keep your window rolled up and consider the source.
Traffic can be hell. people can be very rude.
The next time another person calls you a fuckwad? smile, walk away.
I have found that when one walks away from juvenile behavior, and leaves the idiots standing on the corner yealling and screaming and calling everyone names, that most people, including yourself, will be able to determine who the moron is , without going to battle.
Now, if you really needed to defend yourself, i suggest you do. BUT......
if you end up in court, and your testimony is "i THOUGHT they were going to hit me, so i hit them first, or, they called me a name, so i hit them, you will pay the cost. It doesnt seem fair, but thats the law.

You might of also listen to him when he told you that he has been waiting for 4 hours.
You and cousin thought 15 minutes was long.
I'm not saying that he had any right to speak to you and cousin the way he did, but thats on him. He sounds like a complete idiot.
Do you know whats worse than a complete idiot in a parking lot?
TWO complete idiots in a parking lot.:thumbsup:

I am sorry to hear that you were in a fight. I am glad that you are ok, and that the other guy is probably going to be ok.

Anytime that you feel so angry that you begin to shake, use that as a early warning system and try to do, or think, of something that helps cool you off.
Count to 30.
Turn around and walk away.
You seem like a pretty nice cat, and your willingness to ask the opinions of others, that pertain to you, is a sign of positive growth.
Assholes dont care what others think, and you do.

peace,
dai*ma