Cuh, haven't you seen the posters, dude - the lard ciggies?
Shit man, you were like, eating a lard sandwich

Maybe it's not too late for you......

...maybe....if I could just figure out the formula.....


..*snaps fingers*....

Ok, here's what ya gotta do, Ghost.
Take a tall glass and fill it half with warm water. Add a teaspoon of washing up liquid.
Stir well.
Leave to settle for a few moments, then add two teaspoons of salt.
Fill the glass to the top with warm water again, and down it in one.

It's the only way, dude.
The washing up liquid will separate the lard compound, and the salt will make you barf your ring up...cured.

Remember: Lard may contain traces of fat.