Confusing relationships..

[birdgirl73]

That's quite a distant place to be! Well, are you there with your mom and/or dad? They could probably help you find your way someplace to talk to someone or get some help. With someone who speaks English, I mean. There are lots of folks there who do, you know. Lots of Americans and Brits in addition to English-speaking Japanese.

[shoi]

ya im there with my whole family... dads job (hes not in the military tho )


ya we could prolly find a place if i looked

[birdgirl73]

It might be worth looking into, sweetie. And I'm sure they'd help you. Being young is rough enough by itself. Then add depression into the mix and living in a foreign country, and, well, some extra support could help. What's your country of origin? Just curious.

[shoi]

i am american (not even of any asian decent), i was born there and lived there until i was 11

[DannyMan]

Folks who're attracted to crazymakers generally need a lot of drama in their lives.

Drama eh?.. Interesting point.
I've always been living life to the fullest..perhaps exploiting emotions during the process. Could drama maybe be something my subconscious mind might be looking for because of my usual way of looking at life? For example.. everything's always gotta be fucking intense, and whatnot.

Maybe I should chill out and lay off the drama for a while..

That strangely made me realize some things, thanks.

[DannyMan]

that it is.... but im hesitant to rlly do anything abt it... like first i dunno where i could go since i dont speak the language of the place i live and i dont want to seem like im just an emo teenager who thinks they need to be on prozac or w/e

Aye.. I can relate to the feeling.
I used to live in Quebec, CA.. where French is the primary spoken language. I recently (4 years now) moved to California.. and while I was in the process of learning English..I was often depressed thinking I was too different and stuff.

On that note, a little advice I can give you...
The fact that you are foreign has a lot of positives. It makes you someone with a different perspective of things and it can certainly be applied for many reasons, especially with girls!
I don't know how you feel on the matter, but one thing I can assure you is to never think negatively about that..you are experiencing something that MANY young adults can only dream of every night. You know what I mean?

Hope that helps..

[birdgirl73]

Well, maybe so. But I also once heard it explained this way by a very smart and perceptive therapist. When you go in for drama and for crazymakers in relationships, there's always lots of excitement. But there's not always a lot of real intimacy or closeness. All the drama throws a big smokescreen in the way of an actual close relationship. So instead of focusing on emotional intimacy, you're focusing on the various dramatic events. This is easy to understand because being truly close and emotionally intimate is hard. We have to allow ourselves to be very vulnerable in order to do that.

This all made a lot of sense to me when I was a lot younger and still went in for dramatic, crazymaking guys. When I began to be aware of what the drama was getting in the way of, I was able to make the adjustments I needed to to hook up with a stable, tender man who was actually capable of real closeness. I don't know if this'll make sense in your situation, but it did in mine 24 years ago.

[poorprincess]

your probably not in love with her. She's definatly not in love with you. Do you love your friend? Does she?