Glad you opened this up for my next comments. Yes I am a custodial father of 3 great kids. (This is why my post may have been harsh) I have fought tooth and nail for them for almost 16 yrs. I had to drive a shitty car, live in a not so good neighborhood, wear the same shoes till soles wore out, sometime not eat so there would be leftovers for their next meal. I also worked 1 full time job and 2 part time jobs to make ends meet. The mother of my daughter has only paid 20 dollars in child support in the last 12 yrs. Taking her to court will cost me more in lawyer fees than what she owes. The deck is stack against fathers, but it is getting better. Your comments back to me did just what I wanted them too...You are taking a stand! Move away from where you are if your income can not support a decent lifestyle there, do not move into a ghetto. You do not have to have money to be happy...it helps but it henders also in other ways.

As for not having many post...i had all my prior post removed the other day. Saying I have no idea what i am talking about since i only have 2 post is absurd. That means the judge you will be in front knows even less than me since he was ZERO post here????

IF your wife knows you are a member here then you should think about every post you have made...you might want to ask a mod to remove them also. This could be used against you in court. If the Judge is anti-drug it could hurt you badly. If you smoke or do other drugs then get cleaned up long enough to at least apply for a job that requires a drug test (even if you do not want the job). If she brings up drugs..you can then submit the documents of your clean drug test. I personally would stay clean till after all court battles are over. If you both smoke then your lawyer could ask for both of you to be tested. Your lawyer could have 2 drug testing kits with him and ask for testing on the spot. IF she refuses the judge might wiegh this very heavily.

Have you sought out support groups in your area? Applied for any aid in helping you get an education in a promising job field?

On a constructive note: Start a journal keeping track of every penny you spend. After a few months you can look it over to see what you could live without. It worked for me. Start liquidating your assets to cash. Anything that your wife won't let you sale that still has payments owed can be used to show the judge. He could be inclined to make her take over the payments since it was her choice alone to keep those items. Do not fight with her over small stuff! Pick your battles that are important to you in the long run. Be the one to try and seek marriage counsuling, if she refuses this will show that you are the only one trying to do what's best for the family. From now till "your day in court" you need all the evidence you can get that you are the one with the best interest of the families well being.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! I MEAN EVERYTHING! Voice recording of arguements between you can show how her temper, actions or behavior is anti-productive for the stability of raising kids. Do not get a Holier than tho attitude. That will be counter productive.

here is a link to support group of single dads http://www.scfn.org/
Google for keywords in your area. You will find many groups. It could be hard to get custody. But if you really think your children would be better off with you and not her...then you have too. You could end up with joint custody..thats better than visitation. Once you contact a support group you could possibly meet other men that could help you land a better job, find a lawyer who will let you make payments or even waive some of his fees. Research what Judge you will go infront of. This can give you an idea of how many times he or she has giving custody to the fathers. If the Judge is Father friendly..then find a Lawyer than has a great track record with that judge in similar cases.

The road you are getting ready to travel is not an easy one. It will be hard on your whole family. A chain is only as strong as the weakest link...do not let that link be you!

Your post sound like you are educated enough to be more than a min. wage job holder. But sometimes you will have to do shitty jobs to get those few extra dollars to buy those items your kids will need. Do not forget to see if your income qualifes you for any state assistance. I have seen in several states that even the income from a teacher or police officer is low enough to recieve help.

I wish you the best of luck...Divorce and Custody is always ugly and bitter unless both people are level headed or one gives up to easy.

Just ponder this idea..."would the children be better off with me or her?" If you answer is "YOU" than you have to do everything to proof this and make it happen. If you think it might be her, then you need to put all your support behind her and eat crow when needed. I never once yelled or said a single bad thing about my kids mom to them or in front of them. THEY will remember this. As they get older they will see how much you loved them to take crap off her and that only reason you did this was because you love them. Every ugly word you say about her infront of them will be just one more small wedge between you and your children. NEVER forget they love her too (unless she has destroyed that)

on a final note, I apologize if I upset you on 2 prior post. The only goal was to get you thinking enuff to say..."I am a good father dammit and she won't belittle or make me think otherwise"

Good luck