Quote Originally Posted by birdgirl73
I hope you can keep trying to work with that mediator. The whole situation is troubling to me. There's got to be a way to settle on something you can both live with that will allow you to share custody and also at least nonminally support the kids financially without having to move away from them to do so.

Even though I know it's hard for you to contemplate, I think it's emotionally important for the kids to know you willingly contributed to their support. They're going through enough turmoil with divorcing parents as it is. Whatever you can work out, get it put firmly in writing so she can't weasel out of an agreed arrangement.

Divorce is so hard on everyone, especially when kids are involved, and I had no idea a custody battle was so pricey these days. In custody-contested divorces (and most others, too) someone's always the loser financially. At least that's what they taught us in family law. The petitioner has an advantage, and if that person is also the one who makes the most money, well, it's a greater advantage.

This may be a stupid question, but is there any hope that you could make an arrangement to postpone the divorce for a while? Not in order to reconcile as much as to coast for a while in a situation that'll allow you both fair access to the kids and let you continue being the stay-at-home dad? Or are things already too far gone and angry for that?
I think staying with mediation is best for us too. And I plan to keep working it this way till I have no other options.

In the matter of paying nominal amount of support. If its such a small amount why does it need to be paid is my question?
Is it just, "well hes paying what he can pay"? Is that the thiking here?
Because to be honest, it seems a much better use of the money to then use it to be able to take my kids to six flags, or on vacation somewhere, to be a better role model to use Oblio's words.

Bottom line is she doesnt need my money, and in the past, said she would give a waiver because she doesnt need it.

Your right, a court divorce would finacially wreck us both, she would be responsible for my court costs tho, but that doesnt take away that in the end its still my money as well.

I dont want to postpone it, its been years in the makeing, its taken me 2 years to get her, a CPA to make a budget for this family.

Not that I havent tried to make one, but she would never follow one, I would call cable and cancel extras, she would call and order other extras. Things like that riddle this relationship. As far as access, I plan to have joint custody, and if I had it my way that would live with me 50% of the time, I love my kids very much, I am now and always will be a big part of their lives, this is why its very important for me to be able to not only survive here but to be able to live.

Peace BG