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07-20-2006, 05:10 AM #14Senior Member
A good question.
Wow, Breuk, that approach to patriarchal responsibility is awfully stringent, and I'm not sure that what you've proposed is in the best interests of the children involved--particularly the idea to refuse welfare to single moms. Actually, you could refuse it to their mothers, particularly if they refuse to stay on some form of reliable birth control, but I think the idea of withdrawing sustenance from the children themselves would simply put those children at worse risk of perpetuating the cycle of poverty and crime.
In the poor families I work with as a volunteer, the fathers haven't been stripped of their rights or kicked out of their own houses. They've left voluntarily. IF they were ever there in the first place. Many of these folks are accustomed to a completely matriarchal system and have lived in such single-mother-led households for three generations. The fathers are basically sperm donors and little else, but they made that choice. They weren't stripped of their responsibilities by anyone. It's heartbreaking, yes. But those dads simply never took responsibility in the first place. I've volunteered to help these people get social services for years, and I have not yet seen an instance where one of those fathers was "stripped" of anything except perhaps when he was strip-searched on his way into prison. Maybe you're thinking of some sort of different family circumstances than these.
In your plan to cut down on divorce or have children of parents who insist on divorcing stay with their fathers, what if the fathers aren't the right parent with whom to leave children? Particularly if they're small children, that's a mighty big burden to place on a father. I like the idea of discouraging divorce, but I think there are ways to do that that don't put undue burdens on fathers to suddenly be primary caregivers, particularly those who aren't in any way suited for that job. More power to those who do have that aptitude!
Again, I like the concept of a father and a mother being married and together supporting a child, but I think the "bastard" concept again punishes children. I know men sometimes feel trapped when women get pregnant, but they participate in that sexual encounter, too. I see no reason why, if the man plays a 50-50 role in conceiving that child, he shouldn't contribute to its support.
Just a female perspective on a few of those points. How old are you BA? And have you ever been married or fathered children?[SIZE=\"4\"]\"That best portion of a good man\'s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.\"[/SIZE]
[align=center]William Wordsworth, English poet (1770 - 1850)[/align]
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