Is this WW3?

[Shelbay]

I hate when people say that all of France just gave up and surrendered in the World Wars. Sure, their government and military gave up because they were overpowered, but the spirit of resistance burned strong in the hearts of the people. When you imply that they were all just pussies who couldn't fight or didn't want to fight you are spitting on the graves of all the courageous French men and women who risked their lives to strike against the invading oppressors in whatever way they could right up until the end. It's like saying black people are pussies because they tolerated slavery for so long.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_resistance

I never thought I would reply to any of your post but darn if I don't agree with this one with all my heart!! Well Said.

[Psycho4Bud]

Sorry it's just not the World Wars that people base this opinion on:

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.:dance:

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."



With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses:

Norse invasions, 841-911.
After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years.

Mexico, 1863-1864.
France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival.

Panama jungles 1881-1890.
No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914.

Napoleonic Wars.
Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions.

Haiti, 1791-1804.
French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally.

India, 1673-1813.
British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine...). Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England.

Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830.
Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815.

1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S.
French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations.

Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s.
Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day.

French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): :dance:

1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French.
When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. God will know His own." Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children.

St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572.
Once again, French-on-French slaughter.

Third Crusade.
Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish.

Seventh Crusade.
St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Resoundingly crushed.

[Eighth] Crusade.
St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. See Seventh Crusade.

Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses.

Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me:

Seven year War 1756-1763
Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Brits. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and India (Clive at Plassey).

Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following:

The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. This ended their colonialism. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair.
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html

And so much for their WW2 effort!!

Although the Nazis wanted the French to turn over all Jews, the French agreed at first to round up only Jews with foreign citizenship, many of whom were in France because they had fled the Nazis in other countries.

The first roundup took place in July 1942. In an early morning visit, in the 20th Arrondissement of Paris, French Police knocked on the door of the Mullersâ??Jews originally from Poland.
http://www.pbs.org/auschwitz/40-45/factories/

[Dutch Pimp]

I can't decide which part, I liked best. I think..maybe...Dien Bien Flu.

[Bong30]

I can't decide which part, I liked best. I think..maybe...Dien Bien Flu.

THis is my Favorite...

Only one they won was The french revolution......... cause they were fighting French...........LOL they had to win...


- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.:dance:

[Binzhoubum]

Hey, I've seen Commies drinking water. Never seen any drinking Vodka. I did get pretty hammered with a Commie once drinking some exceptionally foul alcohol called Mao Tai though, but that's a story for another thread

Ewwwwww.....Mao tai is something foul.

Besides, in America you can be anything you like, even a "commie"...

Or someone who polarizes every single political issue thrown out there into one of either two categories: Left or Right.

When you polarize you exaggerate and when you exaggerate you lose sight of what's really occuring. :smokin:

Most of the people on these boards align themselves accordingly with some type of political ideology without realizing that they are all flawed because they are all exaggerating what is really happening.

The world is a much bigger place and has many more serious threats looming other than the Middle East-America skirmishes.

Just like Fengzi said:

Anyhow...No. This isn't the start of WWIII. Maybe the start of a Middle East war but not WWIII. If we had a world war everytime the Jews and Arabs started shooting at each other we'd be up to what? WWVI? WWVII? Maybe more?

there have been wars going on in the Middle East forever. It cracks me up so much when people talk about every conflict in the Middle East as if it is going to be the Apocalypse or something. I mean, how ridiculous does that sound? Look at a history book or two for a couple hours and pay attention to the patterns.

Smoke one too, while you're at it. :smokin:

[Binzhoubum]

Here's Stephen Colbert's take on this (the first video clip on the page). Man I love Stephen Colbert. He cracks me up like a club striking a baby seal's skull.

http://throwawayyourtv.com/2006/07/warmongers.html

HOLY SHIT!

I can't believe it! I just watched that Daily Show clip and saw that there are actually people in the States right now claiming that the Israel-Lebanon conflict is the beginning of WWIII?!?!?!!?!?!

That is insanity.

It's times like these when I remember why I enjoy not living there anymore. :smokin:

[psychocat]

The whole situation we are faced with was brought about by the foreign policy of the US and other goverments who haven't got the sense to see that nobody has the right to tell other countries how they should behave or what weapons they should be allowed, The arrogance of a nation that believes they are always right is just mind boggling.
The Isreal situation was inevitable when you tell a principally muslim area hey guys guess what we are going to steal your land and give it to people that weren't really welcome.

MODERN HISTORY - : In 1947 the UN voted to divide Palestine into separate Jewish and Arab states and on May 14, 1948 the State of Israel was proclaimed in Palestine. By early 1949 Israel had survived the war with the Arab League of Egypt, Transjordan, Syria, Iraq and Lebanon and as a result around 780,000 Palestinian Arabs were displaced. In Oct. 1956 after Egypt nationalized the Suez Canal, Israel backed by Britain and France attacked Egypt initiating the second Arab-Israeli war, although a ceasefire was declared and the Anglo-French troops were withdrawn. In June 1967 Israel clashed with Syria and the Six Day War began. Israel defeated Egypt, Jordan as well as Syria and captured the Sinai Peninsula, Gaza Strip, West Bank and Golan Heights. From 1967 to 1972 Israel had begun to settle the occupied territories and the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) had also begun raids on Israel from the Gaza Strip and the Golan Heights along the Syrian/Israeli border, which resulted in counterattacks often by air


With this kind of behaviour how do we ever hope to reach peace?