DaHazeMeister you have my deepest sympathies. As a few here have already said, there is nothing to say to make you feel better. However, I think the best advice I have to offer right now is to be true to yourself and your feelings. Seek out and acknowledge everything you are feeling and let it out as needed. When you are ready to be happy again one day, don't try to force the happiness to come, nor should you supress the sadness. Only do what needs to be done to feel happy, and let it come as it does.