I am so, so sorry, Haze. I can't imagine what it is like to lose someone that you love that much.

Don't blame yourself for anything, though! I hope you don't think you somehow caused this. You didn't, and I'm sure if your dad could tell you one more thing, it's that he loves you more than anything, and that he is really proud of you.

Cry as much as you want, crying always helps me, though I do it too much...