Don't feel guilty at all. Never ruined my life either. I never spend money that I can't on it...gogo self control! I wasn't raised like you though(not that you were raised bad or anything). I do what I want with my body and my future. If I want to sit around in my apartment and smoke weed all night after a hard days work, I don't see whats wrong about that. I think weed actually made me a better person....helps me to be more open minded and makes music that much better