When I was 22 or something, I went out with a girl from Texas...I was still in New Jersey at the time. Things were good for the first year...they were so good that I was trying to figure out how to move to Texas and was looking to go back to college. It finally felt like my life was coming together.

After the first year...I don't know. Maybe it was the distance, maybe we were just in two different 'emotional places' but the relationship started getting rocky. All of a sudden, the life that I had planned was crumbling.

We broke up and my head was really screwed up. I thought I was a failure and that I'd never be able to accomplish anything good in life. I was smoking like a train, drinking like a fish, and fucking like a loose rabbit. I came to realize that I was self medicating myself because of the hurt and that it wasn't doing anything beneficial for me.

Slowly, things calmed down. I went back to drinking on the weekends instead of every night, went back to smoking a bowl or two instead of trying to get through an 1/8 in a night, and I stopped hooking up with females just for sex. I resigned myself to the fact that this particular relationship wasn't meant to be and the best thing I could do was to learn from the mistakes that were made so my next relationship would be even better. And that's what happened...I eventually met who is now my wife and have been happy ever since.

So yeah, it hurts...it hurts like a motherfucker! But, it does get better and the pain does go away. You need to take time for yourself b/c eventually, you're going to meet someone new and you won't be able to give that new relationship the full attention that it deserves unless you let go of the past. Judging by your posts, I surmise that you're going through the natural pain process and you'll bounce back just fine. It's not going to happen overnight...but let it happen at it's own natural pace.