I completely sympathize with what you said (or at least I think I do). The "educational" system pushes you through so fast that unless you're a mindless drone or already have your life planned out, you come out of it going "...huh?"

I still don't know what I'm doing in life, and it's been almost four years since I graduated high school and a couple since I was last taking college courses. I was homeless in San Diego for a few months before talking my parents into letting me back into their house, before getting kicked out again (over a RETARDED argument concerning me leaving my Playstation II at someone's house - fuckers - I digress) and moving into the dump of an apartment I'm now in.

Today I happened to think of a brilliant moneymaking plan (aside from growing and selling illicit substances) - a music notation service over the internet. I like it because it combines things I'm skilled at with things I actually like to fucking do. (Imagine that!) I understand that not everyone is as fortunate as to have something handed to them like that, though. The way the world is set up right now, it's really rough for those who are outside of the box. I wish I could tell you "just follow your dreams", but idealism doesn't seem to be worth much anymore, especially when everyone is handed it from all the wrong sources. ("Want to get in bed with the huge-busted women you've always dreamed of? Sign up for our dating service and get a seven day FREE trial after which you can pay us an arm and a leg to keep up with current socio-sexual norms, i.e. damned if you get laid otherwise, you hideous-looking fucker!")

I think it's sad that people have to choose just ONE thing to do and be in life, and then work at it until life itself is nothing more than a circadian rhythm pounded out by a corporate pacemaker. What's the fucking POINT?! Meh, perhaps when I'm older and "wiser" I will look back on the days when I cared about stuff and force a laugh. But in the now, this all seems so undesirable and I wish there was something that could be done, short of a mass revolution against the status quo (how many people do you know who will even question the concept of systematic power and authority, let alone question it right to the enforcers' faces?)

I hope you don't have to join the military, but I understand that we all do things that are less than desirable in order to attain certain things. Hell, I wish I didn't have to make money at all, but I'm more likely to go back to the streets and die than anything if I give up on that prospect.