I decided against antidepressents. I'll just stick to pot to get my happy fix.

Anyway as far as defending how depressed I am I'm not gunna go there. It'd be counter productive.

I decided to bite the bullet and organize my life. I kicked all my friends out. I'm not seeing them until the weekends now. It's time to stop this 24/7 fucking party and get a real life.

I found something that works though. I've been going for walks by myself for about an hour a day around my town. It's somewhat dangerous but it does three things for me:

Gives me time to clear my head and get away from everything
Boosts my self asteem because of all the cat calls
Gets me closer to nature ( I saw a white butterfly each time I went outside for a walk this week ) Probably doesnt mean anything but it made me feel good.

Hugs to you helpfull people AND the haters...I love you guys..