I'm sick..

[FunkyMonkey]

poorprincess; I think Ganjasaurusrex made a couple great points and I fear you may have misunderstood. Nobody is suggesting you shut up. Ganjasaurus is just cautioning you against taking pharms to 'fix' a problem that doesnt exist in the framework of :
symptom x diagnosis + pills = cured
That will never solve an emotional issue. All it will ever do is remove symptoms so you are not aware of yourself anymore.

The suggestions to take some time away are great ideas. Time away from the routines that prevent us from becomming really obsorbed in our problems is great for providing an environment of self discovery and learning, and healing.
When we feel the need to be alone and focus on ourselves then the best thing for us to do is be alone and focus on ourselves.
"Alone" doesnt necessarily have to mean in solitude but can mean just that you could need to seperate yourself from your interpesonal connections and their expectations long enough to address yourself.

Talking always helps to put things into perspective. Talking to someone who has been down a similar path can provide you with tools to help yourself deal with whatever is eating at you.

Without knowing what is weighing upon you I personally cant provide this for you but as a fellow earth walker I do offer myself as a tool to be used in your healing.
I dont know the root of your troubles but I do know of the feelings you descrobe. I can relate.
I dont know much about you but from your posts I respect your mind and heart and wish for you to find some peace that helps you to see first your problems clearly, then your solutions. I also hope you find the courage to face what is seeking your audience.

If you meditate, perhaps you can ask for understanding this way. If you ask for the message that is yours to reach you clearly, and that you have the tools brought forward to help you to deal and understand then you may find some help there.

You had mentioned soul journeying in another thread. This can be a very valuable tool to help you to change the perspective on your problem, and to find answers.

Many times our emotional and mental issues arise because we ignore ourselves too long. We shut out things that make us uncomfortable and give us sadness. We do this at great cost because things dont go away or get resolved this way. They grow, and fester and creep silently into other areas of ourselves and our lives.
I would suggest that the first thing you do is write out your internal dialogue as it happens, when you are most at unease.
Give audience to the images, feelings, thoughts etc that flood you and try to gain understanding of exactly what the problem is.
Ask yourself questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
Reread what you wrote. Then do it again next time you feel it coming on.
If you repeat this you may find your understanding grows each time and you gain ground and feel like you are surfacing again.

Lots of suggestions. Some things work for some people and not for others.

I can try to help you find what works for you.

I feel the need to stress though that you should consider pills only as a last resort in a desperate situation not as a viable first option.
You will bury part of you and the world needs more of you...not less.


peace and love.

FM

[poorprincess]

I was kidding about the vitamin c...um sort of. I am going to try that. Lots of good suggestions from everyone. Sincerest thanks.

[FunkyMonkey]

I will add my thoughts and wishes for your healing to my prayer book to be burned at the end of this lunar cycle.
Whatever you decide to do, know that you are not alone in your pain or in your healing. In asking for help you opened yourself to recieving healing and that process has begun already.
May you find your balance and walk confidantly towards it.

peace.

[fikusroot]

nothing against you, but few people really have a serious mental condition. One where regardless of what situation you are in, will still destroy you and your life. My cousin was severly bipolar, schitzophrenic. You can just look in there eyes and see how hopelessly fucked up they are, to the point where it's not just a severe depression brought on by outside influence, but a serious disease. I am somewhat bipolar and have to take medication for it but I'm nowhere near as fucked up as my cousin. My point? You're not messed up. Everyone feels the way you do at some point.

[birdgirl73]

One of the things that works great for me when I'm depressed is exercise. It's like magic, and I feel the effects of working out almost immediately. The only bad thing is that sometimes it's hard to get motivated to get to the gym when I'm low, but once I get in a workout I always feel better.

Listen to yourself and your own body. You've gotten lots of advice here. Ganjasaurusrex always advises against antidepressants, but they do work well for many people. Getting off them is generally only a problem when people try to do it suddenly and don't take gradually lower doses before stopping them. Nutritional supplements and vitamins do work well for some, but for others, antidepressants do make a tremendous difference between really hopeless depression and the ability to get out of bed and go about life productively. I don't know where the rumor ever got started that SSRI antidepressants are amphetamine-based because that's a fallacy. Check with any psychiatrist or pharmacist, and they'll confirm that. Or refer to any drug book and look at the chemical structures of the two chemical compounds; they're distinctly different, as are the effects that result from them.

Hope whatever you decide, you'll feel better real soon!

[Its a Plant]

Well, millions of people in America alone have mental conditions that go undiagnosed for years, or never. Just because it's not completely crippling her life in every way possible doesn't make it something to simply brush off. That's why so many people end up on the streets or in some psych ward. Show a little sympathy, eh?

I think I would try and take a little vacation like mentioned above, or even see a pyschiatrist if at all possible. Maybe not as like a weekly thing even, but just a few visits so you can get your head straight and seal that crack. : )

Best of luck.

[poorprincess]

I decided against antidepressents. I'll just stick to pot to get my happy fix.

Anyway as far as defending how depressed I am I'm not gunna go there. It'd be counter productive.

I decided to bite the bullet and organize my life. I kicked all my friends out. I'm not seeing them until the weekends now. It's time to stop this 24/7 fucking party and get a real life.

I found something that works though. I've been going for walks by myself for about an hour a day around my town. It's somewhat dangerous but it does three things for me:

Gives me time to clear my head and get away from everything
Boosts my self asteem because of all the cat calls
Gets me closer to nature ( I saw a white butterfly each time I went outside for a walk this week ) Probably doesnt mean anything but it made me feel good.

Hugs to you helpfull people AND the haters...I love you guys..

[poorprincess]

poorprincess; I think Ganjasaurusrex made a couple great points and I fear you may have misunderstood. Nobody is suggesting you shut up. Ganjasaurus is just cautioning you against taking pharms to 'fix' a problem that doesnt exist in the framework of :
symptom x diagnosis + pills = cured
That will never solve an emotional issue. All it will ever do is remove symptoms so you are not aware of yourself anymore.

The suggestions to take some time away are great ideas. Time away from the routines that prevent us from becomming really obsorbed in our problems is great for providing an environment of self discovery and learning, and healing.
When we feel the need to be alone and focus on ourselves then the best thing for us to do is be alone and focus on ourselves.
"Alone" doesnt necessarily have to mean in solitude but can mean just that you could need to seperate yourself from your interpesonal connections and their expectations long enough to address yourself.

Talking always helps to put things into perspective. Talking to someone who has been down a similar path can provide you with tools to help yourself deal with whatever is eating at you.

Without knowing what is weighing upon you I personally cant provide this for you but as a fellow earth walker I do offer myself as a tool to be used in your healing.
I dont know the root of your troubles but I do know of the feelings you descrobe. I can relate.
I dont know much about you but from your posts I respect your mind and heart and wish for you to find some peace that helps you to see first your problems clearly, then your solutions. I also hope you find the courage to face what is seeking your audience.

If you meditate, perhaps you can ask for understanding this way. If you ask for the message that is yours to reach you clearly, and that you have the tools brought forward to help you to deal and understand then you may find some help there.

You had mentioned soul journeying in another thread. This can be a very valuable tool to help you to change the perspective on your problem, and to find answers.

Many times our emotional and mental issues arise because we ignore ourselves too long. We shut out things that make us uncomfortable and give us sadness. We do this at great cost because things dont go away or get resolved this way. They grow, and fester and creep silently into other areas of ourselves and our lives.
I would suggest that the first thing you do is write out your internal dialogue as it happens, when you are most at unease.
Give audience to the images, feelings, thoughts etc that flood you and try to gain understanding of exactly what the problem is.
Ask yourself questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
Reread what you wrote. Then do it again next time you feel it coming on.
If you repeat this you may find your understanding grows each time and you gain ground and feel like you are surfacing again.

Lots of suggestions. Some things work for some people and not for others.

I can try to help you find what works for you.

I feel the need to stress though that you should consider pills only as a last resort in a desperate situation not as a viable first option.
You will bury part of you and the world needs more of you...not less.


peace and love.

FM

how'd youg get so awesome? I love you.

[FunkyMonkey]

Hi there.
I wrote out a 'prayer' for you and burned it in a ceremonial fire on tuesday night while the full moon was high in our sky.
It was a wonderfully peaceful night and the air was rich with the feeling of the energy of the new lunar cycle. I felt it was an appropriate time to send the prayers for your renwal up on the smoke.
I have been thinking of you and hope that you are feeling in better spirits and more grounded.
My heart is warmed at reading the steps you have taken to regain some balance in your life. Every step forward is a step in the right direction.
Change is often hard but it is the only way towards growth.
I struggle with this myself sometimes. I need reminders occasionally.
As you go on your walks I am sure you will find that in your internal dialogue you will start to find answers to your questions.
You hold most of your answers inside you.

The white butterflies that you have been noticing are not likely a mere 'coincidence' ( ugh I dislike that word)
I dont know if you have much knowledge of animal totems and their signifigance in teaching us but this is what I know of butterflies:
( I suspect you will find some relevance in this)

Butterflies represent change and metamorphasis/ shapeshifting in our lives. When we are visited by this totem, we should make note of important issues confronting us at the moment. This is likely why we have noticed them around us. We should examine what changes we need to make and to keep in mind what we wish the outcome to be.
Rmember that there is purpose behind our metemorphasis. We have a goal and set a path to reach this goal.
We may feel like we struggle in vain sometimes but envision the eventual emergance as a beautiful butterfly one day. We will not always be what we are today. We constantly change and adapt.
In various times throughout history and in various cultures and religions the butterfly represented the soul and unfettered joy and bliss.
In the native american tradition it represents change, joy and colour in our lives. They can remind us not to take things too seriously and awaken a sense of lightness and joy.
They also can remind us that change is good for us, and inevitable if we wish to evolve beyond our current state of being and understanding.
Change does not have to be traumatic but can be gentle, sweet and rewarding. It will lead us to a new way of expressing and enjoying life.
Butterfly can remind us that growth and change are all part of the cycle of life and that to resist it we fight forces beyond our control.
To be what we are here to be, we must embrace change. We must evolve. And, as we evolve we become even more beautiful creatures.

I thought that this is signifigant to what you are experiencing in your life right now. So, take the lessons of the butterfly into your heart.

Be confidant poorprincess. The medicine of this totem is within you, and around you.



If ever you need it, my email is :

sage_wisdom(at)hush.com

peace and love.

FM