Well, She Left Me...

[daima]

So, I guess this is another vent thread. Sorry I'm wasting up space, but I need to get it out and its 2:30 am and I'm all alone and I really can't handle it. Been with this girl for 9 months now and last night we get into an argument and I say some things that I don't mean because she was going out with her friends on the anniversary of my uncle's suicide. I told her it'd mean a lot to me if she stayed home, but she left anyway, so I yelled at her and said that I hated her and it pissed me off so fucking much she was leaving me on this night.

So, anyway, she calls me today and we talk for...god...hours..5, nearly six and it turns out last night she meant this guy and today she just broke up with me and said that it's just too stressful on her. How...how its so hard because her parents don't approve of her being with me and do everything in the world to stop her so when we go out they always make her get home by like...9 and on weekdays we'll be lucky if we get till 10:30. She can't even come see me unless her narc cousin comes with her, so she said she couldn't do it. She says she still is so much in love with me, that she always will be that I'll always be with her but that we just need time because its so hard right now. I gave everything to this girl. It'd been so long since I'd opened up to anyone and she broke my heart again. I know it was only 9 months, but I literally spent some of the best nights in my life.

I know there are other girls out there, but it's just so hard for me to accept she's not mine anymore. She said she still wants to be close friends, but I don't know...it's so hard for me to have to stay with her and be there for her, but not to be with her. I was crying for about 2 or 3 hours, I guess because I really didn't need this on top of getting kicked out by my mom, and coming to the realization that I won't be able to go to college for a while because I'll have to work my ass off just to make it in some shitty one bedroom apartment. Man, she picked a classic time to lay this on me.

Last time I got hurt, I said I'd never do it again, that I'd never put myself through it. But, I slowly found myself falling for this girl. Not some superficial love, but something that I thought was concrete and true. Something that was going to last. But, I guess I'm just naive, right? ::breathes deep::

Love is more destructive than any other thing I know. More wars have been waged and lives lost in the name of "love" or the jealousy sometimes felt from unfaithful partners than any other thing, except for maybe God.

Time to pick yourself up, Malik. Time to fill in the gaps and move on. Your heart's only an organ. Your soul is without bounds.

WELLLLLLLLLLLLL, my ol' gal left me and i' so glad she did
My ol girl left me and i'm glad she took the kid
Now i have less mouths to feed and
more room to sleep in my bed:dance:

dai*ma:stoned:

[NightProwler]

i think you should get some drugs and go off on your own into the deep deep wilderness... it will help you. and you can return if you ever decide to.

[birdgirl73]

Sorry for the double posting, I just wanted to say that th eone thing I don't understand is how someone can throw 9 months out the window in just one night. Any girls out there understand!?

Sorry you're having to go through this right now, Gothen. I can tell you're hurting. Even though it doesn't seem like it right now, things will get better. The fact that you're open to still going out there and making yourself vulnerable is, I think, a very good sign. Means you haven't given up on love. Just give yourself some time to heal.

The question about how she could throw nine months out the window made me think that probably she'd been unhappy about some stuff for a while and just hadn't let onto that fact. Girls don't generally make the decision to break up with someone lightly. So even though she might have hung in there for nine months, I'm betting somewhere two or three months ago, she began having questions about things. Don't feel too troubled by the fact that she said she had feelings for another guy, either. She may or may not have those feelings for him. She also could easily have just pointed to him as another excuse to back up her decision to make the break with you.

Spend a lot of time being good to yourself, relaxing, and spending time with supportive friends. Then get back out there into circulation!

[iwantFUEGO]

yo man.. if she really LOVED you, she would have cared more than to go find out with some punk on your uncles annniversary. This girl claims she cares about you? put her to the test...
Dont call or answer her phone calls for about 4-5 days. If she really does care about you, she'll frak out and i garuntee shell be at your door step. If she doesnt then youll have your proof and more reason to go meet other people and find someone that really will be there for you.
I used to fight with my girlfriend to the point of tears and i remeber that i used to smoke a bowl... and then the arguement (which i was so passionate about) became something i didnt want to do in a matter of 2 min... Smoking really helps.
feel better PEace

[Gothen]

i think you should get some drugs and go off on your own into the deep deep wilderness... it will help you. and you can return if you ever decide to.

I'm gonna do just that. Got me a 20 of some fire, got me some papes and a bowl, and I got my music. I'm gonna sit here and smoke until the cows come home, should they ever decide to.


I got a question for you guys. So....there is this girl I've known and messed around with before, we've known each other for about 2 years now and a couple months after me and Amber got together we both recognized that we had deep feelings for each other. This girl is in LOVE with me, deeply, truly connected to me, she feels. She wants to be with me. Anyway, in August she is turning in a legal adult and she's getting 500 grand from some kind of account her mom left her when she died. She said she "wants to take me away from here." Now, I called her last night and she still wants to be with me, she still feels the same way about me and wants to be with me etc etc. I have feelings for her, obviously, but would it be immoral of me to hang out with this girl and mess around with her and stuff while I still have Amber on my mind? Would that be wrong of me? Or would that just be me trying to get over her?

And smoking has helped a lot. About 12 hours ago I was watching the Dave Chappelle special on Comedy Central and not even he could cheer me up, I was still bawling my lil eyes out but I thought, "F-Fuck this!" through sobs and tears and I packed a bowl and I took two hits. I didn't want to get RIPPED, just enough to make it go away. And, slowly, the tears started receding and I started grinning a bit as Dave Chappelle washed it allllll away.

[Dutch Pimp]

We men get hit the hardest for some reason... You will find in time it was for the best,cause if she loved you,she would not pull shit like this... This is usaully part one in the control game and she played the card at the time most woman do,when they know yur hooked,and she knows...

After my third wife left me (married 8 years)....I had plenty of time and space to learn how to grow weed......On the computer..she left behind. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

[Gothen]

Hey, guys, I feel really bad for bumping this after so long, but I don't know what to do. It's been a month, but I still cry every single night. She already has a new boyfriend, some kid named Thyler.

I don't know what to do anymore. I think maybe I should go to the doctor and try anti-depressants or something, because I don't think I can handle this anymore. It's just been getting worse this past week. I've just been getting so much like how I was before I started smoking weed.

Like, I started cutting myself again. I know how fucking stupid that is, I know how retarded it is and pathetic, but I can't stop. I'll just sit in my room and cry or cut myself. It's fucking sick, and it's fucking morbid but I can't stop. It's like nothing will end this pain anymore but death. I'm not suicidal, I will never kill myself, but I pray so hard that something will kill me. I don't care about anything anymore. I don't see the reason to even get up out of fucking bed any more. I just lay in bed or sit in my chair listening to music with a sheet over my window.

Is it supposed to hurt this long? Should I still cry every night because of her after a month? I need someone to be there for me and with me right now, and I'm very sorry if I bumped this and it pissed you off. I just feel so alone.

[FeastonThisSHITT]

Try taking a trip to Lebanon this weekend coming up. Experience some mortar and plane bombings. Experience some crying mothers grieving for their dead sons and daughters and husbands. Check out the hospitals and smell some burnt flesh of dieing children.

After that fly down to ethiopia and take a tour of the slums. Take in the scenery of thousands upon thousands of starving, thirsty people, dieing of common colds because they can't afford 25 cents for some american cold medicine.

Just think for a moment about the fact that you could give 1 dollar to one of those kids to feed them for the rest of the week, and perhaps keep them alive long enough for them to grow healthy so they can take care of their family.

Talk to some of the 11 year old girls who work 18 hours a day picking bits of plant material off the ground to make strings and ropes to sell so that they can make some money to buy medicine and food for their dieing parents.



Check out some of that shit for real, then come back and read your posts about some bitch leaving you.

[IanCurtisWishlist]

Gothen,

As a person who has been in the very same situation as yourself (I, being in a relationship of 7 months), I can't help but relate to you with empathy and compassion.

Brother i know it hurts and I know it will still hurt for a long time, but we have all been there and we all will be there sooner or later. the best advice i can give you is to play it cool with her, and don't hope for anything. that might sound discouraging, but it will only drive you crazy. show her that you are the strong one. dont obsessively call her, write her email, etc.. that would not help you two in any sense. why? because it isn't properly communicating. Even if you told her how upset you were, explaining to her in precise detail what it is that you are feeling, she still wouldn't understand it. This is because everybody has their own perceptions... you feel me ?

Let me give you some history about myself. I was with this girl for 7 months, and before that, I had considered her one of my best friends. Our relationship started out sweet, and ended bitterly. In short, I caught her fucking some other guy when I went over to surprise her. Guess who got the surprise?

Upon discovering her fucking this disgusting fat guy, she then laughed in my face, called me crazy, and told me to get the fuck away from her forever. She never called me since then, and we haven't even talked that much. She left me, for another guy. Obviously, I could not help but feel betrayed, hurt, and very very suicidal. Then it occured to me, some months later, that this bitch was indeed a waste of time, that her tits were really gross, that she wasn't worth sucking my energy anymore, and that she really wasn't perfect. Did it drive me to the point of mental insanity, knowing that she was laughing with some OTHER guy? Did it drive me mad knowing that some OTHER guy was fucking her, that she might even be ENJOYING fucking this other guy??? Yes! Of course it did. And then I realized, she was just a person.

Believe me brother, I felt the most love and trust for this person , as opposed to any other person. I thought she was my soul mate, and it all crumbled apart. What is my point, other than telling you how shitty my life was? I can honestly say that what won't kill you, <b>WILL</B> make you <b>STRONGER</b>. This is the turning point in your life. One day, you will be happy that you didn't stay with her forever. One day, you will see that your life is all falling into place the way it should be. No matter how much it hurts, you must persevere, and look to yourself to find the inner strength. It can only come from you.

You were a whole person before you ever met her, and , while you might be feeling like a mere shell of a man at this ever-temporary point of time, just know deep down that, after all the long suffering, you will once again rise up and become as solid as a rock. I swear to you.

Maybe the Buddhist point of view can help you out. The Buddhists (rightly) believe that suffering is caused directly from attachment. To free yourself from suffering, one must separate himself from desire and attachment. If you take that advice, and reasonably apply it to your life, it might work for you, as it has worked for me so many times before.

Don't worry man, life will work out. Someday you won't even think about this break-up. Someday you won't even think about posting on cannabis.com, and you won't remember me, and you won't remember your friends from high school, college, your jobs , very well. Just keep that in mind, when life gets you down; it's all temporary. You have the strength within yourself to make the best of it

Stay up, we are all human, and we have all felt your situation. Even if you think anyone couldn't possibly understand how you are feeling, trust me; we ain't that different from eachother. we're ALL human, and naturally we react the same to similar situations (in this context, that is).

This is called the grieving process, and it is a very natural response to such situations. Cry all you want, learn to cope with your feelngs. in the end, you will understand yourself better, you will become a better person. your future awaits

edit: i used to cut myself ,and did so while with my ex and after the breakup. i don't do that anymore , since i find it pointless, but it's not good. it's very unpleasant to die, accidentally, from bleeding to death.

[Gothen]

Try taking a trip to Lebanon this weekend coming up. Experience some mortar and plane bombings. Experience some crying mothers grieving for their dead sons and daughters and husbands. Check out the hospitals and smell some burnt flesh of dieing children.

After that fly down to ethiopia and take a tour of the slums. Take in the scenery of thousands upon thousands of starving, thirsty people, dieing of common colds because they can't afford 25 cents for some american cold medicine.

Just think for a moment about the fact that you could give 1 dollar to one of those kids to feed them for the rest of the week, and perhaps keep them alive long enough for them to grow healthy so they can take care of their family.

Talk to some of the 11 year old girls who work 18 hours a day picking bits of plant material off the ground to make strings and ropes to sell so that they can make some money to buy medicine and food for their dieing parents.



Check out some of that shit for real, then come back and read your posts about some bitch leaving you.

Ya know, that's real cool. That's really productive. Do you think that changes anything? Do you not think I realize how unimportant, small, and meangingless my life is? So what if what I'm going through isn't "suffering enough" for you or anyone else. No offense, but fuck you man. You had no right to shit on me and try to make me feel like crap because I'm whining about "some bitch leaving me."