Chiz-may, I hope things go better for you in the near future, whatever that may be.

I too recently had a mini-epiphany, and came to the realization that I rather enjoy a sober life every now and then. For the past 3 years or so, I too have smoked more than your neighborhood power plant. I never thought about completely giving up smoking, just cutting back.

Like earlier this week, I didn't have any weed, yet my mind wasn't even thinking about smoking or scoring a bag. So I thought, why mess with a good thing? Mentally, I was in a fantastic mood despite being a somewhat unfamiliar sober compared to the last 3 years.

Like our friendly cc owl said, mental addiction's a bitch. I know I'm mentally hooked, and my only explanation for not feeling it now is that I have an anurism or something. Try and find something, anything to occupy your time, be it color in a book or rebuilding old cars. Everyone has hobbies other than weed, and if you don't, get some!

I personally view weed as a terrific accomplice to life. It should never take over one's life to the point that you become "stuck" in the same place, never challenging yourself or moving forward with your life.

My best goes out to you though, man. God knows we all have rough patches to ride out, and it always helps if others around you understand. You are your toughest opponent, and in a sense, your own enemy. Don't let these "huge" things in life drag you down, because sooner or later, they will pass, but you will still be here, standing strong. So stand strong, brother.

One love.