ok , u guys no i smoke like a mutha, well i stopped and this is my econd day without weed......what can i say it fucking blows, my mind is like,,,,,,BLAAAAAAH!!!

my body is like...fucking throbing my whole body has a wierd burny feeling to it, and i cant stop with the fucking cigs, its payday tomorro and i know the herb is there if i want it,.


BUT


basicly im having a revalation. im begining to think in ways i never thought before,

i dunno how to say this.....but im sad IM REAL SAD , its like iv turned by back on something that helped me out in so many cases in the last 6 years, theres been good times, and even better times, but im feeling like i FADING OUT, like a popular fog that is becoming forgotten about. its like to everyone im just......chris , i know its wierd buts its like im fucking furnature,,,,"yeah thats chris" nothing much to say. i need to have a background and story and meaning.......i feel im failing through the goals of life....i have a shit job....right now no girlfriend (honestly not a steady for about a year now) and its getting me fucking depressed i mean yeah ima geezer i can handle a dry patch but this is fucking ridiculous i mean yeah ive had the naughty nights out and had some fun here and there......but thats it no one wants to know after that. are there no girls in the world who wanna go steady?!

thats not it though i geuss i mean if i really want i just go get drunk get pissed find a pussy and fuck it.......but thats it!! im not that person anymore im fucking 20 years old now i mean i gotta move out my house asap, i have direct debits from higher purchases i wish i never made now, i owe a friend £700 and my new job is not half paying its way,

im ....out im finished i dont knwo what im doin any more i cant stop fucking thinking about just sitting down with a joint BUT I DONT HAVE ONE , plus in the back of my mind i know i wanna get on with things.

its hard . its real hard everyone i see i just get the urge to "hey man have u got a joint?" but then i keep silent because i know i cant go through with it myself (i hate any form of begging) im kicking myself thou because so many people have it harder then me (poverty, homelessness) and they get through the day....so why cant i? i feel so fucking weak right now i just wanan curl up and ball and dissapear for a month or so untill my homegrown is ready....but then the message in my head AGAIN "TRY TO GET SOME WEED"
i cant stop it im smoking yet another fucking cig now the second in this post and it taste so dry and dirty,

many of you guys have quit weed for like weeks or more at a time, so why am i finding it so fucking hard?!?!! im even thinking of meeting this girl im AVOIDING incase she has a joint.........and that ladies and gents is NOT what im all about...this is what i mean im goin to lengths i would never normaly got o to get a smoke, ad i dont like it,

i dotn even really know why im posting this i geuss i just want someone to reply "im the same" just so im not fucking doin this shit alone....but its like im missing a part of me,,,,a peice of my soul, weed brought me up from what i was......pathetic....but now im feeling in myself...pathetic. because im not smoking. and im fucked i dont knwo what to do.



u guys remember my "im goin to beat up my boss"? i nealr fucked everything up today i nearly threw any slight reminicence of a work ive done recently.....he just pushed and pushed and pushed every little fucking thing HE think is wrong but everyone thinks is right......i was so close to heabutting that old cunt into next week but i did something else. i got sneaky ....we had a delivery of spur bracket shelving for the shop and i lifted 4 stacks and 5 packs of brackets in one and then when i he tried to take them off me they nearly pulled him over....when he regained his balance he looked at me and i gave him the hardest "yeah fucking remember that" look and i think he got the picture cos he hasnt been snydy today. geuss that one good thing,,,,,,,

but still im now clueless to how to get to sleep tonight and just get through tomorro.


QUITTING WEED IS THE HARDEST THING IVE EVER DONE.

AND FOR THOSE WHO WANNA COME ON SAYING "BLAH BLAH NO IT WAS EASY FOR ME" well look 1. diffrent for everyone 2. six years of smoking 7-9 joints day sometimes even more does this to you....it not great. it sucks


all i have to look forward to now is that glorious day when i finaly get the wonder herb back in me and i cans top posting these long assed posts. but it seems so far.
chisme Reviewed by chisme on . second day wihtout weed after 6 years everyday smoking ok , u guys no i smoke like a mutha, well i stopped and this is my econd day without weed......what can i say it fucking blows, my mind is like,,,,,,BLAAAAAAH!!! my body is like...fucking throbing my whole body has a wierd burny feeling to it, and i cant stop with the fucking cigs, its payday tomorro and i know the herb is there if i want it,. BUT basicly im having a revalation. im begining to think in ways i never thought before, Rating: 5