Quote Originally Posted by birdgirl73
Wow, Big C. My heart goes out to you right now. And I'm feeling guilty for having added to the email volume during the Big Texas Scare.

I think you've just turned to yourself and to cyberfriends by putting all that down and venting it. I hope that helped! Look at it this way, if it helps. You're alive and well and healthy as you face all those other challenges. And you're clearly a competent, capable guy with a good wife. I have this intuitive feeling that the powers that be are going to take care of you because you do such a good job of taking care of your own stuff.
Yeah. Sometimes strangers are the best comfort. When I was younger and living in New Jersey, I used to go to NY alot b/c of my parents drinking and to deal. I'd end up at Washington Square Park and would just talk to homeless people. I didn't care if they smelled or looked funny, I wanted to know their stories. What happened. And I made friends and they would want to know my story. How come a 15yr old living in Jersey is running around the streets of NY at 1:00 in the morning.

Then last year, my wife and I lost the baby. Oh...My...God!! You want to talk about depression. I was drinking and smoking like there was no tomorrow. I spent my 'grievance' week from work in a chemical fog. One night I broke down and just started writing on this forum I mod at (a technical forum no less) and so many people replied and offered kind words and help.

So I guess I always have felt comfortable sharing things with strangers. It's a give and take...you tell me something, now I tell you something, etc. But I think I just need take some time off and get centered. I haven't smoked in a couple of days and the way I'm feeling, I probably won't for a couple more...gotta get back to 'normal'.

I guess I'll be going to the gun range tonight. That always makes me feel better...things go BOOM!