Really...

The only close call I had was a few months ago before I moved to Texas. One night, my wife and I had argues (we were staying at the mother-in-laws right before the move) so I decided to go out. Smoked a bowl on the way to a friends house. At his house, smoked another bowl and we had a couple of drinks and then went out to the Cheesecake Factory. Smoked another bowl before going in and drank like 5 Tanqueray 10s and Tonics. No now, 4 hours later...we're ripped beyond belief. Get in the car and start heading back to his place. I usually don't drink and drive but figured I was OK. Made it to his place and he asked if I wanted to stay and sober up but I was like, "No, I gotta get back home". So away I go. Now I'm getting sleepy, foot is a little heavier on the peddle... Halfway home, I smoke another bowl and continue on my way. Maybe about 3 blocks from the house...I get red-lighted. Damn NBPD!!! He's asking me all the usual questions and I'm trying to answer without slurring. Finally he takes me out and asks to do a field sobriety test...I'm fucked!!! So I get out and suprisingly pass that with flying colors. So then we wants to search the car...umm, there's a fuckin 1/2 O sitting under the seat. So I politely explain that I'm just trying to get home and I understand why he pulled me over but since I passed the test I didn't think I should be subjected to a search of my vehicle also. Well, in the middle of this conversation, I guess he got back word that I had no warrants and he simply said that he understood and to make it home safely. Yeah, I lost about 20lbs sweating through that one.