I'm freakin busy but if friendowl wants something, I will make time to try.

Woman walks into an ice cream shop and says, "I would like a pound of vanilla, a pound of strawberry and a pound of chocolate."

Ice cream guy says, "Sorry ma'am. We're outta choclate."

She says, "O.K. I'll have a half pound of vanilla, a half pound of strawberry and a half pound of chocolate."

The guys says, "Ma'am, we don't have any chocolate."

She then says "Oh, then I'll have a quarter pound of vanilla, a quarter pound of strawberry and a quarter pound of chocolate."

The guy is mad. He asks, "Can you spell the van in vanilla?"

"V A N"

"Can you spell the straw in strawberry?"

"S T R A W"

"Can you spell the fuck in chocolate?"

"There is no fuck in chocolate."

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If that doesn't work, have you ever heard of masterbation being refered as "punching the clown."

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The butt cheeks joke was great I've been makin' people smile all over with that one.