i dunno, i've been having some pretty weird ass dreams too lately, alot of them, i feel very strong emotion in, for instance, in my dreams i can feel emotion as strong as if you watched one of your loved ones get their head taken off... it's never a joyous 'overpowering emotion' either, it's always either anxiety, fear, anger, or sadness, and the dreams almost always involve one or more of the following: my wife, my dead brother, my next youngest brother, or my mother. they also, almost always have something to do wtih drugs in one way or another, usually weed tho...

i don'tknow what's causing them, but i wish they would go away, it's kind of horrible to go to bed 'normal' then while trying to rest, having to deal with these emotions... another fucked up thing about it all is, i know i'm dreaming, but i can't change the dream, it does what it wants to do, i can't wake up, i can't make the emotions go away, and for some very odd reason, even tho i just stated i know they're only dreams, i can't convince myself that it's not real... these dreams are just so horrible, that i can't convince myself everything's ok, until i'm full awake, and whatever was bothering me so bad, is gone.

because of all this i'm also having worse anxiety while awake, and having more problems sleeping and staying asleep... i wake up probably 30 times a night (literally) i remember one time i kept waking up literally like every 20 mins or so, and i know cuz i would keep looking at the clock, cuz it didn't feel like i was asleep for very long inbetween, and i wanted to make sure. it sucks and i've found no link to stop them or slow them... it's like they're completely random... i know alot about psychology/dreaming and all that shit, so i know what to look for (i.e. stressful situations at home i may not be 'acknowledging', and the dream is my mind's way of telling me to deal with the problem, ect. ect.) but there's just... nothing... it really sucks to be plauged by nightmares, and have an extremely strong fear of going to sleep...