Family

[Big Calhoun]

OK, could use a little help from my fellow stoners. It's kind of a confusing situation (not really) so I'll keep it short and concise.

The root of it is that I have 1 step-brother and two-stepsisters. In my families, we don't do 'step-' relatives so they are simply my brother and sisters. I'm the oldestof them all and grew up mostly with my mother and brother. My sisters live with my father in Alabama.

My oldest sister, I met when I was 20 and she was about 8. It took a while for her to warm up to me but by time I had left, she was calling me her brother and wanted to go with me everywhere I went. So precious. My younger sister, I met at about the same time (she was about 8 and I was now about 27) and she was a little more open. That's just her personality, she likes to warm up to everyone.

Throughout my life, I never had much contact with my older sister. It was mainly a policy I iniated for different reasons. A.) She did not choose to be placed in this situation (having a brother who has a different mother) and she was young so I didn't want to screw her head up or anything like that. B.) Although my father and his wife (who I love like my own mother) recognize me as the true first child, I never wanted my sister to be under that umbrella. I wanted her to enjoy all the spoils that come with being the 'first'. So When I would visit, I would by her things and we'd hang out a little, but I always made sure the focus was on her.

OK, so recently she invited my wife and I to her highschool graduation. When we arrived in Alabama, her, my other sister, and thier mother met us at the house. We talked and BSd all night and had alot of fun. ON her graduation, I told her how proud my wife and I were and that if she ever needed anything, she just need ask and its hers. I gave her a sizeable gift (monetary) and she was very appreciative but we didn't have a chance to hangout because she went with some friends to South Carolina for a weekend trip.

So a few days later, she called but I wasn't able to get the message. But now I'm nervous about calling her back. My thing is that I always wanted a sister and I want to be there for her like any brother would. But I'm not sure how she see's me...as her brother or some oft relative that shows up every once in a while. I guess I'm afraid that when I return her call and try to just chat as siblings would that she would reject me. Does this sound crazy? Any advice?

Big Calhoun Reviewed by Big Calhoun on 06-06-2006. Family OK, could use a little help from my fellow stoners. It's kind of a confusing situation (not really) so I'll keep it short and concise. The root of it is that I have 1 step-brother and two-stepsisters. In my families, we don't do 'step-' relatives so they are simply my brother and sisters. I'm the oldestof them all and grew up mostly with my mother and brother. My sisters live with my father in Alabama. My oldest sister, I met when I was 20 and she was about 8. It took a while for her to Rating: 5

[friendowl]

just call her
ask her hows shes doing
take her to eat

be cool,fool

[Big Calhoun]

LOL. My wife keeps saying the same thing..."Just talk to her like you do your friends, ya know, 'What's up?', 'Whats new?', 'How's everything going?'. It's that rejection thing though, I don't want to come off as being intrusive. Ultimately,I'm just going to have to go for it. I have to call my father this week to talk business anyway, so I'll try to get a hold of her then.

I don't think I was this nervous or scared about rejection when I asked for my first date umpteen years ago.

[birdgirl73]

Hey, my friend. Glad to see you online again. I remembered you were heading to 'Bama to go to her graduation, so I'm glad y'all made it back home to Texas safely.

You don't sound crazy at all. Just chill and call her like any friend-brother would and let her sorta lead the way in what she wants from you and how she seems to want to relate. Seems to me like you reached out and reconnected with her with your visit and your gift and now she's reaching right back.

[minnesota man]

Hi Texans and Californian.

Speaking as someone with an older sister, there is no one ideal relationship between a brother and sister. We fought like cats and dogs and I spent some of my life really hating her. Recently I called to wish her kid (my nephew) a happy birthday and I ended up spending a long time chatting with my sis. It was great. It's like all the troubles were under the bridge. I bet she wants the same thing you want.

[MaryJaneintheCloset]

It's never too late, BigCalhoun. Re-acquaint yourselves with eachother, and good luck doing it!