I'd say I've come across two or three people in my life who would qualify as Christians by your definition up there, Jamstigator. Two of these people were practicing Quakers, who do the best job I know of of modeling absolute pacifism. The third is a colleague of mine who is the most serene, secure-in-her-faith person I've ever known. She is completely motivated by kindness and peace in her interactions with others. And I think she qualifies, too.

I want to give this some more thought, but my initial reaction is that I'm not at all certain I agree that an act of self-defense against rape or murder would truly disqualify someone as a Christian.

I think it's important to keep in mind that Christians don't have to be perfect in order to be true Christians. Sure, there are plenty of talk-the-talking hypocrites who can't get anything right and don't even try.

People will never fail to be disappointed if they look to Christ's followers as the models for Christian behavior. The only real model is Christ himself. Thankfully, there's grace for the rest of us!