And another thing: how can people be so blase about love and relationships, and sex even? maybe im just old fashioned, but i believe that if you are going to have sex with someone, its the ultimate gift you give them...its a part of yourself, of your essence, so its not something to be played with (like i see every weekend at the meat market bars, these people are disgusting, and i dont want to be with someone that 2 weeks ago i saw grinding on 5 different guys).

my first serious girlfriend, from when i was 18-21, i still love that girl with all my heart, and think about her from time to time. i mean, does that mean im obsessed with her? i havent talked to her in goddamn near a decade since i dumped her, but i still love her...i mean i wouldnt get back with her if she called, but i gave myself to her for a long time. make sense?

maybe that just why im different.