I read the opening post, but didn't bother with the entire thread, so if I repeat something I appologize.

First, you sound like youve been diagnosed bipolar. Is this true? Your taking Depakote, something I once took for my bipolar. Listen, until you get stabalized continue your med regime, man. It helped me tremedously!

I've been suicidal on many occasions, and the only thing I can say is that the meds helped. I stayed away from MJ during these times, and that helped as well. Tell you pdoc everything that doesn't incriminate you. If you're homicidal, I wouldn't tell them unless your ready to be hospitalized. Then again, this may be what's needed right now. I always found hospitalization to be a vacation of sorts. It allowed me to get back on my feet if you will.

Sucicide is not the answer, but you know this. Just allow yourself to be helped, man. There's nothing wrong with taking meds when you need them, and there is nothing wrong with a hospital stay if you're thinking of offing yourself.

Just get some help, man! Let the doctors do what they do, and listen to them.

It's not a bad thing, bro!