mental cheating???

[muncheemama]

what do you all think about porno in a commited relationship? I personally think it's "mental cheating" and while some might see that as too harsh, i believe the act of someone peeling one off to the image of another woman or man just isnt very cool...watching it together as a type of foreplay is fine, but to hide and lie about a stash is deceptive and wrong...guys and girls whats your opinion? how would your partners feel? is my opinion one of an oversensitive woman, or is it rational???

muncheemama Reviewed by muncheemama on 05-28-2006. mental cheating??? what do you all think about porno in a commited relationship? I personally think it's "mental cheating" and while some might see that as too harsh, i believe the act of someone peeling one off to the image of another woman or man just isnt very cool...watching it together as a type of foreplay is fine, but to hide and lie about a stash is deceptive and wrong...guys and girls whats your opinion? how would your partners feel? is my opinion one of an oversensitive woman, or is it rational??? Rating: 5

[DonnieDarko]

I don't think that masturbation by any partner, with porn, or just thinking about that cute secretary in the office, should be considered cheating. In a perfect relationship, you should be able to discuss this openly with your partner and work toward trying to share fantasies with each other.

Even President Jimmy Carter admitted to having "lust in his heart".

I do agree that hiding/lying is dishonest and wrong ... but I wouldn't call it cheating.

[LIP]

I dunno, i guess this is where double standards may come in, cos a man can look at porn and have a wank, but when i woman does it the guy gets pissed off about it all...

I wouldnt like my gal to do it no.

Then again, if its a good relationship, im not sure you'd need to.

[Carisma]

A pretty sensitive subject that is...

Honestly, from a nature point of view and from the view of our urges,
it appears obvious that men have more needs for sex than most women.

Maybe he's not in the mood to have sex and please you as he only would like
to release some pressue, knowing that if he'd do so with you, he'd likely dissapoint you and you'd feel used.
If it's not frequent, he likely just didn't want to bother you for that. Watching a porno to it, just speeds things up and he might be more open for love and tenderness again, all just for you.

If he's not watching them, he could well be thinking of others while wanking, couldn't he? And for a fact, that's neither controllable nor bad in my humble opinion.

It doesn't have to be that, but it's one of the possible answers though. We _are_ different after all, and we very much feel different in especially that respect, mostly.

If it doesn't happen all week, I wouldn't worry.

Just my 0.02$

Cheers,
Carisma

[birdgirl73]

I think I probably have fairly lenient ideas in this area, but to me, that's just a guy being a guy. I'd definitely prefer it if the guy didn't hide this part of his life or lie about it, but perhaps he does that because he can anticipate what the reaction on the female partner's part will be.

Yeah, men do have stronger urges than we do, and they have sexual thoughts a lot more frequently. They just need to blow off that steam, and frankly, I think porno or a fantasy about someone else is a heck of a lot better than cheating. I truly do just think this is a guy thing and that, unless his solo porn activities become excessive and he is no longer interested in the real sex part of the relationship, it doesn't have much reflection on his attitude toward the relationship.

[Carisma]

I think I probably have fairly lenient ideas in this area, but to me, that's just a guy being a guy. I'd definitely prefer it if the guy didn't hide this part of his life or lie about it, but perhaps he does that because he can anticipate what the reaction on the female partner's part will be.

That is certainly one reason. Ever read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? It'll explain a lot about us men and you women and is a highly recommended read.
We men are not talkative, especially not about such subjects, usually. Women like to express their feelings, we do not(again mostly).

If we know that a woman understands and accepts that we are/think/feel different in many respects and does not treat our way as being wrong, we might get more talkative as well. There is no 'wrong', just 'different'(except if you judge it on morale which is implied by society)

Just my opinion on that matter.

Cheers,
Carisma

[Fan o KmK]

thats fucking stupid. every guy in the world has watched porn and wanked it. no girl is ever going to stop that.

[beachguy in thongs]

If I had a girl who was hot enough, and available enough, I'd feel no need for porn.

[Az.]

i dont think it's cheating unless you are doing it behind someones back....

I know my girlfriend has porn (its actually mostly gay porn lmao) on her computer...
things might be slightly different for us though because she is at uni, and we are having a bit of an open relationship....where she doesn't want to go and see guys...and I do...lol

that actually sounds really harsh....but thats the way things are at the moment....theres more to it than that but not going into detail...

What Carisma said is actually very true....

[Carisma]

If I had a girl who was hot enough, and available enough, I'd feel no need for porn.

I'd agree, though just temporary... If the setting/way/place of sex is always the same, even the hottest girl/woman on earth will get boring after a few years. Harsh words maybe, but true nontheless.

If you want a fulfilled sex life for more than just 2/3 years, you'd have to make sure to satisfy your partners' need and yours, and make sure to bring some new life into it by changing things from time to time. Place/setting/style/location/whatever. To get that far, you have to talk, which brings us back to the issue than we, as men, do not like to talk about feelings... understanding each other helps alot to bridge the gap.

Just my view of things.

Cheers,
Carisma