I don't agree that it's unhealthy for one person in a relationship to have their sacrifices recognized by the other. That's not the same thing as 'holding it over her head', but if she doesn't recognize the sacrifice, that isn't right, and reinforces the belief that she can make you do (or not do) whatever she wants. Relationships (that last) are about give and take, compromise. You give up some things to make your partner happier, but the converse should also be true, else the relationship is one-sided and likely doomed to failure, or at least there will be an undue amount of unhappiness endured by the one making the bulk of the sacrifices. Compromise is VERY healthy for relationships, but compromise involves sacrifice by both parties, and recognition of those sacrifices.